Why is it so many creative people have these bouts with their mind? I, too, battled depression for many years. I remember feeling completely unable to write anything happy, whether it was a song or poem. It just felt like I was betraying myself to write anything beyond grief & despair. The depression was also my muse, or so I had convinced myself.
I love that you ask the reader to not try to figure out your meaning, rather, "...my words are for you." Poetry, music and lyrics are all about perception and interpretation. Each of us perceives his own reality and that matters more than the original intention behind the piece. At least, to me that has always been the case.
I remember hating analyzing old poems in school for the writer's intention. Even at a young age, I thought this was counter-intuitive to what the writer would have wanted because as much as we write for ourselves, often it's a cathartic process, when we finally decide to put it out there, then those words are for our reader. This way, our creations continue to recreate themselves with each new perception and interpretation.
Thank you so much for sharing.
I think we all go through a similar process of understanding where we fit into the world and trying to find a purpose. I also believe that it has a lot to do with our bodies own chemical development. It's comforting to know that the same thoughts have been had by others; there was a time when I used it as a muse for writing very overly sentimental and dark material - often folk songs.
Any written material, once written (the writing being part of that writer's catharsis and experience), is only really then meant to be read by someone else, and so it becomes the reader's catharsis and experience. Although, there are often times, when I revisit my older poems and see them completely differently - it's all subjective at the end of it all. :)