It sounds like she also had quite a positive influence on the lives of other people. You should take solace in the fact that you're still going after your personal goals at this stage... indeed, you know your wife's wishes best, not to mention your own!

And no need to ask for forgiveness. The words you choose to write come from a place of experience and wisdom. Someone who chooses to read them may gather value and learn from you. Additionally, as I've come to realize from personal experience, writing out your thoughts can be a great way to process and digest information, as well as to reflect upon oneself. Please harbor no regrets for doing so!