Really sorry for the very late reply. The free willed pondering that you mentioned is also based on heuristics going on in your head, based on all the information and experiences you have accumulated till that point in time. The best way to think about it is by trying to understand the very first free-willed pondering that you think you have had. They would have been around the age of 3. By then you would have already accumulated information and experiences which were not in your control. Everything that influences you after that point in time is external stimulus and your perception of the external stimulus (which is based on heuristics). The books you choose to prime yourself with are also based on the way your heuristics work. But as you aptly put it at the end. Life sure is interesting and fascinating even if there is no free will and from your point of view you will always feel like you have a choice. The whole idea of the understanding of the delusion of free will is to empathize more with others and not judge them for their actions as you would do exactly what they are doing had you been in their place.