I was looking through some old photos after running some edits for a friend and came across this one. It reminded me of my wife and I a very long time ago, although not a long time in years. It just seems a long time considering the events in between then and now and I miss those times. I am not one to reminisce all that much or romanticise about times gone but I do feel pangs of longing occasionally for what we used to have, and I miss dancing.
This is why the picture reminded me of my wife as I think the two dandelion seeds look like they are dancing alone, away from the group and I think this sums us up pretty well; alone together. Our relationship has always been so and for the most part, our lives have been the same, her and I together facing the world. And now with our daughter, it is the three of us holding hands, blown by the winds.
I don't think my wife and I will ever return to the relationship of the past, too much has flowed between, it has changed and matured and the simplicity of two dancing in the corner alone, has been replaced by the complexities and struggles of a life of confusion and need. There have been too many paper cuts, too much blood loss both metaphorically and physically over the years for either of us to move like we once did.
It is the way of the world, the way of all relationships perhaps, things change and once change takes place, nothing can truly ever be the same again. The situations we have faced have changed us and taught us each different lessons.
I say that in relationships people either grow together or, grow apart and I think that my wife and I have done both of these things. What this means for our relationship it is too early to tell though. I always find it interesting when people make grand statements about the success of their relationships only to have them crumble not too far into the future.
I think this is especially true of the 'fake it til you make it' generation as they seem to think the faking part is in what is said, the appearance of what you are doing. No, the faking is in the fooling of the self to try regardless of the chance of failure, the actions however have to be real.
When it comes at working at relationships, it is not about holidays and romantic dinners, going to the movies or flowers, it is about conversation to get things sorted out and if that doesn't take place, there will always be conflict, tension and disappointment as each will be working against the other, instead of walking hand in hand. I don't know why I am writing this but, i do now I have a lot of work to do on our relationship and, I hope I will always have the work to do.
The work we do are the seeds we plant, our relationship the soil. What we grow depends on both.
Taraz
[ a Steemit original ]
As simple as that seed is. It is also very complicated . It has to catch the wind just right so that it lands in fertile ground . Bringing forth new life . And so many other factors to mention here. Its destiny is a result of factors that it cannot control . Unlike us who have the ability to control our destiny .
relationships are complicate and when new life is brought into it new challenges arise . Relationships require work to keep the ground fertile , constant work , but the reward is the best that anyone could have and well worth it .
This is what many people don't get, they want the best, most supportive relationships but don't put in the work.
I don't know but its seems that the culture has shifted to , I deserve things instead of let me work for that, I see it everywhere , from Gov't handouts , to people going to work as if a social gathering . Even here with up vote me and I'll up vote you . Maybe its because I'm getting older , or that I worked so damn hard for what we have .
But most of all it takes unselfish sacrifice for the good of the whole . (Family - Relationship )
I think growing apart in certain ways is okay as long as the growing together part is the strongest part of the relationship!
I love the picture when I was a little boy always played with this flower
Sir, I convey my best wishes on your beautiful relationship with your wife. May your relationship becomes even sweeter. With maturity, one comes to know that relationship is not all about dinners, dates etc but about sacrificing for each other.
excellent photography...@tarazkp
vivid photography!!
difficult to control the situation if in difficult circumstances. and sometimes we are wrong in choosing. all has passed. there is nothing wrong to remember the past. a beautiful past should be remembered. Keep spirits
sometimes by looking at a photograph, we can remember someone we love, just as you are by seeing the photo, you imagine your wife to dance ... success greetings for you @tarazkp
I say that in relationships people either grow together or, grow apart !absolutely
The relationship either grows into love and harmony - or it grows into suspicion, doubt, resentment - eventually leading to a break up
Love move in mysterious way @tarazkp.
Sometimes you may wonder what she is up to, it's almost impossible to completely delete those memories most especially when they had too many experiences.
Now that you have you people have a daughter, it can be a picture through to those good days when you atleast used to dance.
Real relationships take long to end, it takes much time.
And good you don't support the fake till you make it slogan, personally i don't find so genuine.
@tarazkp there is always ups and downs in a relationship and I'm not a expert on this but hope you'll figure out something with this....and may god bless you with your love and lots of happiness just like old times.....
Cheers
Relationsp is so strone it make the greates like me smal .
The memories you hv with someone is what builds a relation shp is momories.
Mostly beautiful memories.
Well said. My wife and I have been through a lot, especially in the last few years. It has often felt like it has been us against the world. On the bright side, it has allowed us to grow closer together and to appreciate each other for the support we give. Although it has been a tough season that I didn't want, I'm glad we have gotten to know that even in the hard times, we're here for each other.
This is the test, isn't it.
In relationships there's what most do called PDA - Public Display (of) Affection, and that's what you just describe here
Am not a relationship expert, not married - so I don't know how these things work and I am not saying this as an advice. But in my opinion I believe if the future is to hold any promise for the relationship you two (or three as you are now) will have to grow together much more than the growing apart. Just like the two dandelion seeds, the winds will come but find strength the hold each other. Oh, I almost gave an advice.
Your photography skills amazed me most times. The timing of that shot and the quality too is something I should expect from the expert. Beautiful one Taraz
Advice is always welcome by me, do I listen though? :D
I am glad you chanced upon that photo. It gave you work that is worth trying and also gave us a beautiful story to read and learn from.
Some beautiful Macro work, was it hard to obtain this shot?
Love good
nice , appropriate
" can we all just get along "
Very thoughtfully written @taraz! I don't know how old you are but your insights are very "evolved", mature and honest. I hear you talking about being able to see ourselves, each other as honestly as we can at any given moment! The need to have things other than how they are can lock us into a vicious cycle of unfulfilled expectations and wants! I just started following you and this is your second post I have read! I am liking a lot!
Thank you for being so open in your sharing "insides"! About to Upvote (still less than dust - hehe) and Resteem
I am old.
I was just talking to someone about this.
So was I ... "just talking to someone about this"! It was a very real and useful discussion! We were talking about how we need to be careful of the language we use when we talk to ourselves. The "needs", are especially tricky! I NEED this and that to be happy, fulfilled, content. What's tricky about that is if we say that is what we NEED, we are absolutely right and until that "thing" is acquired, we will live in the clawing, needy world of dissatisfaction.
We said a lot more. Your article was timely! I enjoyed it, because it made sense! Like I mentioned, I heard a voice of maturity!
You were not talking about a theory, or a speculation. You KNOW of what you speak! ...btw, I am old too! Thanks again for your honest share, @tarazkp
Oh wow, loved this post. Really, so very true. Just your last line there... "The work we do are the seeds we plant, our relationship the soil What we grow depends on both." Powerful! The picture ties in so well with it as well. The work that relationships take is the work that takes place behind doors. The work that others don't see. The communication, the laughter, the compassion, the understanding & willingness to forgive. Love till it hurts! <3 Beautiful work! Cheers!
charming & brilliant!