Being centered is great, and being able to return to center after life happens is even better...but it takes resilience!
Resilience
noun
1.the power or ability to return to the original form, position, etc., after being bent, compressed, or stretched; elasticity.
2.ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like; buoyancy.
Resiliency sounds like a great trait to have, and indeed it is! It is absolutely critical in our modern world of fast-paced change to be able recover readily from adversity and return to our original position. It is a very different concept and process than defining our original position and mental form, however.
Being present minded allows us to act according to our true nature through a practice of mindfulness and mental self-discipline when faced with stimuli that try to elicit a response from us. My prior blogs have been aimed at creating a space between stimulus and our response, where we can craft our choice of how to act independently of outside influence. This post will deal with how to be resilient when forces in our life are so strong that they cause us to be knocked away from our safe harbor of mindfulness.
Much of what I call being present minded and living in the moment is akin to being at peace, “in the zone”, a zen moment. It is being at one with yourself and the world. Unfortunately, for me at least, the world keeps wanting to use me for a soccer ball and tries to kick my mental equilibrium all over the field! it does not do me a great deal of good to be present-minded for five minutes and spend the rest of the day trying to get back in the zone after I encounter opposition.
The difference between a good athlete and a great athlete is not that one does not make mistakes, but rather that the great athlete corrects and adapts to mistakes so much quicker than a merely good athlete does. They are harder to knock out of their zone and quicker to recover their focus. In other words, they are more resilient mentally, emotionally, and physically.
In the game of golf, one great shot will not win 18 rounds, let alone a complete tournament. One must have consistent excellence in order to win, and constantly return to center after lapses in focus. So it is with being present-minded; we must constantly bring ourselves back to center while dealing with the stresses and distractions of the world. We must practice resiliency as a yin/yang balance to our mindfulness.
A simple example is a person says something very hurtful to me, and emotionally I am devastated. I am no longer in a state of peace where I can truly choose how to act independent of the stimuli of emotional aggression. I may retain enough present-mindedness to refrain from retaliating, but my soul is definitely not aligned with my true, centered self. I need to get back into my “zone” before i can use my space to design an appropriate response. The better we become at being centered the harder it is to knock us out of our zone, but invariably something will happen to even the best of us to knock us for a loop. When that happens we need tools that allow us to regain our calm.
I call resiliency a tool, not an immutable personal attribute like height is because, like being present minded, anyone can increase in their abilities to be resilient. It is not something we either have lots of or stink at. Numerous studies have shown that resiliency can be taught and consciously called upon in times of stress. They also note that resiliency is a moving target, strong in some areas and on some days, and not so much on other days or situations. But because it is a teachable characteristic we can learn to become proficient in being resilient, even in those areas that now trouble us the most. Think of it as yoga for the mind:-)
One of the most important aspects of resiliency is that it is a conscious choice that we make, not something that happens to us. It is like mindfulness in that respect, in that we possess as much or as little as we discipline our minds to acquire. Just like there are techniques to strengthen the body and make it more flexible at the same time, our minds can be trained and tempered by how we choose to react to circumstances beyond our control.
We exist in the very center of three circles of expanding diameter, and the first circle is the smallest. It is where we have absolute control over events and actions in our lives, which is our internal being. It is where we choose without constraint, because unless we abdicate our power of choice, nothing can force us to do anything in this circle against our will. The irony of our mortal situation is that almost every bit of culture in our lives conspires to turn our attention outward to the second circle where we cannot control, only influence. We are indoctrinated to exert our control over things we have no power upon, and let others dictate what is rightfully ours to decide in our own personal sphere of will.
The second circle is much larger than the first, and the power we possess therein is only the power to persuade and influence. Here lies everybody we know, all the social organizations to which we belong, and every rule, regulation, and cultural artifact that directly impinges upon our existence. The second circle is where our will is tested, and we grow strong through trial.
Agency is a gift that we must respect in others if we wish to keep possession of ourselves. Inasmuch as we seek to force or coerce others to do our bidding in this second circle, we weaken our integrity and actually hamper our abilities to make choices in our personal sphere of power.
At the very outer boundaries of the second circle, where our influence is so tenuous that it might as well be a leaf in a gale, there begins the third circle of our existence. It contains all that we neither control nor exert influence over. It is infinite is diameter and boundless in breadth. It is also where most people spend their time worrying and stewing over problems, being angry, and in general acting directly opposite to the principles of present mindedness.
Which circle we allow our time, energies, and mental focus to dwell in most determines our resiliency. Resiliency is knowing where your true center lies, and also having a firm grip on your power to choose to return to center. it is always and foremost an act of will.
Image from Google
Being Present Minded has been creating blog posts for several years now. It is my intention to bring my older material for others here to enjoy here on Steemit, and to create new material here as well. I invite you to click on my links to the original content, and to also follow me there as well.
This was originally published on Beingpresentminded June 23rd, 2015 at:
https://beingpresentminded.wordpress.com/page/4/
I enjoyed your post :)
Thank you @rebeccabe, I appreciate that!
This is interesting. I'd never thought about mindfulness in the context of resilience, though I'm a big believe in both. But it makes a lot of sense. When you first begin practicing mindfulness, chances are you'll be poor at it. You'll quickly lose focus and you're unlikely to see its effects. It's only over time that those effects begin building.
If resiliency were a measurable trait, I wonder how that would correlate to success with mindfulness (or number of practitioners). Or even the other way around -- I wonder if mindfulness can have a hand in developing resiliency.
Hi again @reos! I really enjoy your comments, because I have pondered the same questions. If you want me to I will dig around in my academic search engine to see what the literature says about correlations between mindfulness and resiliency. When I first wrote this post there was not much research trying to tie the two together, although the basic concepts of mindfulness and resiliency are complementary. And yes, if I remember correctly resiliency is measurable, again will have to dig for journal citations. Thank you for giving me a great idea for a new post! I suspect there is a strong positive correlation between the two:-) As to the last point you raise, "if mindfulness can have a hand in developing resiliency" From my own experience the practice of being mindful encourages the underlying paradigm (or framework) of resiliency, and then the enhanced resiliency helps me be more mindful. You almost have to wonder if they are two sides of the same coin... Thanks again for commenting:-)
Great post! I think resilience also comes from a bit of being future minded. For example, you can mentally prepare for how you're going to react to potential responses if you pre-think it (for example if you are going to do a presentation or propose something outside the norm).
Thank you for commenting @drstoker, and you are absolutely right, mental preparation for possible outcomes can make us more resilient. What I am trying to figure out a system for is to cultivate a mental habit of resiliency through the practice of mindfulness. Just like athletes have muscle memory, I think we can cultivate mindfulness at an instinctual level...if that makes sense?