The life of man upon earth is warfare - The Bible, Job 7v:1

If you've taken a look at what we are taught to be. We live at a time when every culture tries to promote democratic values. We read in books to be simple, courteous, welcoming. We see those who have succeeded in life give a peaceful, pleasant exterior behaviours and we allow these make a weakling of our hearts and soul. Like Robert Greene puts it,

The problem for us is that we are trained and prepared for peace, and we are not at all prepared for what confronts us in the real world - Robert Greene.

We are constantly in a world of battles from all faces and levels. Competitions has turned the world into a very nasty place where if you don't have the stomach for it, you will vomit at the sight of people's act just to get ahead. When you have an outright enemy, it's easier to understand the game play, but what about those who are supposed to be on your side, very friendly and agreeable, giving that surface look of everything being peaceful enough but just under the surface, it is all man and woman for him-or herself. People might lie and make you feel we are living in a peaceful, loving, welcoming environment, but you and I know it and feel it. Our experience has taught us the truth and even when we smile, we know it deep in our heart.

Today, I'm not here to coach you to get a machete and carve out someone's intestine. Well, I'm not one of the very brutal type. But I want to tell you something very important to your survival and ultimately, your success in life.

Every war is fought and lost in the mind. You are your greatest friend and your greatest enemy. Use this knowledge to your advantage.

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The world is dirty, fine, you can't clean it up. But as long as you are going to walk on this earth with two hands intact, you must train your mind to develop the iron balls to stomach it. I am a Nigerian and I know how strong we are emotionally, that's why for a long time, issues of depression and suicide is a rare thing here. In fact, I usually take any news of a Nigerian suicide with a pint of salt because mostly someone made it look like a suicide. But a whole lot of that is changing as people are becoming far more emotional to themselves and allow room to grow a weakling heart.

For you to move ahead and achieve your dreams, you must learn to be ruthless, first to yourself. The world isn't a place for the weak. This is not about how to be more forceful in getting what you want or defending yourself but rather how to be more rational and strategic in your everyday movement.

*The self is the friend of a man who masters himself through the self, but for a man without self-mastery, the self is like an enemy at war. - The Bhagavad Gita.

Many years ago when I started living on my own, I discovered I had a weak, ever repenting heart because I wasn't really firm in my decision to do what I need to do. I'll always have plans and dreams to achieve certain things in life but then, sooner or later my mind will shift off it and soon I was back to square one. So, I started reading books beginning with the Bible and some books by authors like Robert Greene, I studied people, learn how they do things, the real people not the exterior image they pose for us to see. So today, I'll be sharing some points I wrote down years ago mostly of them I coined from one of Robert Greene's classic book: 33 strategy of war. Are you ready?

look at things as they are, not as your emotions color them.

People have one general disease and that is emotional response to sensitive issues. Emotions do blind us from seeing the real picture.

• Fear makes you overestimate things.

• Anger and impatience will force you to make rash and regrettable actions that will cut off your options.

• How about happiness and overconfidence mostly after success? These create what I called the ' I have arrived syndrome' which will make you sit and celebrate while you are losing important opportunities or will make you go too far.

• Love and Affection, the greatest of them all which will blind you to the treachery and maneuvers of those who you think are on your side.

Try to limit or compensate for your emotional responses. Always ask yourself, I'm I doing this for some emotional reasons or I'm I sure this is what have to be done. If it has to be done, then do it.

Treat Victories And Defects Just The Same.

I had a problem when I was a kid. I'll return from school at the end of the term with the best result for the term. Drop the result sheet in my room and go about my day as if nothing happens. My parents had a problem with it, as very religious people, they always say I wasn't grateful to God for my successes. So one term I tried to be over proud, I thought I have arrived, started going too far and ended up taking 7th from the usual 1st position.

Well, exams results aren't really that much of a matter, but I'm trying to explain that you must be strict to yourself not to over celebrate any success or mourn over a failure. When you succeed, don't let it gets to you that you start aiming too high. You will overdo, and anything you overdo can gets you killed.
With each success, you get more jealous people even friends who silently wish to take your place. A single mistake is all that is needed.

Judge People By Their Actions.

I don't believe in tell me what you can do, I believe in show me what you can do. I have heard so many lies and eloquent talk, if you don't believe me, wait for Nigerian election campaigns next year (or any election campaign). What people say about themselves doesn't move me and shouldnt move you. People will say anything so learn to apply this ruthless standard in your life, judging people not by what they say but by what they have done: deeds do not lie.

Also look out for people hidden motives. I love my first boss in the first job I ever did. This is where I learned this particular skill. He looks pass the actions and results, he looks for motives and often times when an action resulted bad, he'll just ask me to learn and perform better but won't add any punishment because my intentions were good. Sometimes, it's the reverse though.

Depends On Your Own Arms

Everything in this life can be taken away from you and generally will be at some point. What is that one thing you depend so heavily on? The right answer should be nothing. Your money/wealth can be taken from you, your businesses can fail, your best friends even your lover might one day becomes your enemies. Are you a beautiful girl and you think that's enough, you will likely lose favour to a more beautiful lady someday. Even your physical strength, all that is needed is one accident, and someone becomes blind or cripple. Nobody pray for it but you should always be prepared so that you don't lose your mind in the middle of crisis.

• Your greatest asset is your mind, never lose that.

When You Fail, Don't Sweet Talk To Yourself.

To hell with all the talk of being positive. When you fail which you will at some points, don't sweet talk yourself or look for excuses. Accept your defeats and look for solutions.

When I fucked up, I tell myself 'Oga James, you don fucked up big time for this one'

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You must learn to see things the way they are. Don't colour them at all. If you don't accept where you failed and acknowledge that you failed, you will never work hard enough to find remedy for it. The same thing goes for knowing when to leave a particular pursuit. Learn to know when you have lost, and when the pursuit or battle is no longer achievable.

As a general rule in life, you can lie to every single person on this earth if need be but

NEVER LIE TO YOUR OWN SELF.