Amazing, detailed comment! I've never heard of "agape love," and now I got to look into it a bit more - very interesting. I really agree with you that it's people who are hurt that are the ones hurting others. Demonizing them is much less interesting or productive than trying to understand why they are behaving how they are, regardless of what action I might take. In my opinion, understanding and taking responsibility when I cause others harm is a big part of one's attitude towards others... Causing pain or harm is an inescapable part of the human condition, and I think those self righteous people who can't forgive others are trying to protect their own image of themselves as someone who would never do that... but restorative justice teaches us that we all cause harm, we are all capable of causing harm, and that someone we see causing harm is not so different than us. Once we realize this, we can appreciate people more in their depth and full humanity rather than say "you did this, so I'm done with you." Although, of course, sometimes you do have to say that if your safety is on the line.