@orly, I kind of feel the same way. I spent a lot of time doing math and thinking about life and philosophy in the past, and I didn't understand that this was only one way of looking at reality until I started meditating, although there were some spontaneous experiences of "oneness" or ego dissolution.
Supposedly, meditation brings about an order in your mind and your life that isn't produced by logical thought and decision making alone. I like how you say "whenever I manage to pause" or "get around" thinking.
Thanks, and good luck! I'm still examining this stuff too...
That's what I'm still confused about. Despite my best efforts, the only way I can really tap into this experience is by temporarily suppressing logical thinking. As if there's some great wall between the two, of which I can be on either one side or the other. But what I really want to do is bring down that wall, or at the very least punch some holes in it.
And indeed, Albert Hofmann's work has shown me that it is possible for these two ways of experiencing reality to function simultaneously, complementing and communicating with one another.
By the way, I can't help but notice your use of the term "supposedly". Do you have doubts about this?
Yes, it's possible to bring down the wall so that you're in the timeless and egoless state that K describes, but can also think whenever you need to, and then stop thinking. In ordinary life, thinking gets out of control.
I have doubts that the usual methods of meditation actually do this. They're healthy exercises that help you relax and clear your mind, largely because of all the deep breathing, but the premeditation and practicing shouldn't be necessary for a mystical experience.
I find that the environment surrounding you also plays an important role. When I'm close to nature, surrounded by an open, welcoming, non-judging community, where each individual feels free to express themselves without trying to conform to any expectations, I'm by default a lot closer to this desired state of mind than in my everyday city life, full of depressed, angry, rushing people trying to live up to certain customary and imaginary expectations.
In this sense, I believe our misguided society plays a large role in constantly rebuilding that wall. Otherwise, meditation might not even be needed.