As a Doctor, I see struggle. I see pain, suffering, and hurt. It is my belief and experience through 16 years of medical experience that as a person with needs and asking for help, that it important to consider this :
You are in one of two places at the beginning of change and they are both worthwhile and necessary.
Where you are at this time when you share your feelings dictates what I can offer as a Doctor. I cannot force you to change or be anything you are not willing, ready and able. And so I invest in the process and bear witness.
In this first place, recognize that you are feeling emotion and may only be needing listening support. This is a place to be able to feel and move through the power of the emotions that are present. Grief, fear, regret, pain, many things reside here. Loneliness, despair, acceptance.
There are blessings admist these intense experiences.
To move forward through this process, please know that you must feel it to heal it.
Once you have allowed the emotions to move, to release, let go, then the well begins to empty. I ask my patients to honor this place.
I share that people experiencing grief and loss need to take time REGULARLY in their life to honor this process as well.
Be it once per week, once per day, to set that time aside to honor and feel because you are going through a major heavy life event. This is your process - please honor it and ground it. To ground it is to have a ceremony or ritual or practice or prayer, something that transmutes that grief into something identifiable. Something real, something tangible. So you can keep it, burn it, let it fly away in the wind, bury it, drown it....have some place to physically put it.
This reality experience can change an emotional process that feels overwhelming.
Or have someone with you. A person of trust and love. Who can bear witness and share without the obligation to fix it, or change it, or make it better. Bearing witness is truly a place of giving with love when you can see the emotions are moving. A hug can heal a lot when it is paired with this vulnerability and authenticity.
As hard as this process may be, it does empty out what might feel like a deep, heavy pit of darkness.
You are more than this darkness but you must respect it by allowing it to be real in a way where you are letting it move through and out.
The second place you might be is the place of change. The place of readiness. The spark is there and waiting for an inspiration to light it and send it coasting.
This is the place I speak about in this video.
There is an infinite power in bringing Emotional Intelligence to your forefront. When you begin to take responsibility for your feelings and empower yourself and others around you to have empathy as well. What a gift !
Especially to our children. They are our future.
Emotional Intelligence is a skill.
It is not the default. By default, as animals, we are born to feel and respond. To react. To survive. This survival using Emotional Intelligence brings to you an new ocean of opportunity. Utilizing this skill, you can become more collaborative and engaging. You are able to see that what is happening around you may actually be something that could benefit you or teach you the lesson to move away quickly. But you can think through your emotions with these steps. You do not have to be subject to the chaos at times that emotional reactions create. Less drama and more intention is the result of using Emotional Intelligence.
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If it's one thing I would love to be able to do it 100% in this life is feeling an emotion (and I am talking here about the dreadful ones such as grief, disappointment, etc) without having to act on it.
It's a learning process still, but instead of being engulfed in grief for days, nowadays it takes me less than a day to snap out of it. I am not ignoring my bad days, I find comfort in them as well as I do on my good days.
:)
Feel Feel Feel !
You can feel an emotion and just sit there. Dance. Move, stretch, run, lift weights...move that emotion from within in a way where you can continue to feel it and not be distracted by drama. Write it out, that is what I love to do :) Thank you for sharing @szuri ! xo
Points of honouring, I made a conscious decision to make them happen as much as they are needed and, if they tended to go pass me without my awareness fully catching on to them, I I decided to make it a regular ritual in order to deal with it. In ancient cultures, they were usually highly aware of this need for rituals beyond the awareness of individuals caught in realms keeping them unaware. Thus, rituals were instated for specific ages, events and so on in order to make sure that the biggest chunk of emotional digestion would at least be dealt with.
Great sharing again @basicbeing! Let's heed the words of the good doctor!
Namaste :) (((HUG)))
I love that you share your wisdoms @eric-boucher ! Wise practice suggestion....I think for me, sitting down to write out my beloved steemit posts is my way of regularly checking in to see what is going on inside my soul. I'm so grateful we are on this ride together, my friend :) xo
I've always been grateful to share this ride with you as well... Thanks for sharing gratitude and light. Namaste :)
Many people do not realize that there are more than just one type of intelligence and this is something that has to be addressed to everyone because our emotion speaks so much about what we are as a person. I so love this @basicbeing! Thanks for sharing. :))
Very Nice content and thanks for this informative information.
Thank you :)
interesting to read this from a doctor. gives it more credibility. thanks for sharing.
thank you for reading and commenting ! I love to see who is out there resonating with this :)
:)
I love the idea of ensuring you have someplace to PUT these things and feelings in order to work through them. Sharing this with my sister, who is in need of how to work through some tough stuff right now! Thank you!
Awww, I pray she keeps her intention to keep moving forward and being creative, physical expression can be very cathartic and fulfilling when you make it interesting and new :) blessings to you both !!
very interesting post...
thanks for sharing it....
upvoted and followed...!!!
It is a skill which can be learnt. A very effective way is to practice compassion. Be compassionate, always.
Thanks for sharing with us
Nice content, nice topic. I think that as humans, we should also control our emotions when ever we are going through umplesant situations. When such bad situations arises, the emotional intelligence is needed to remedy the situation. I follow and upvote you.
Thank you @ladybest !
Very beautiful and given in a way that can be understood by everyone.
I found a lot of help through Reiki.
The lady that is doing it to me has such a nice energy and she is practicing a lot of what you mentioned, so I can speak from experience.
After all, what I have realized in life, is that most of the times what we need is a true, warm hug and a good listener without criticism!
And time! Time to cry, accept the hurt and let it all out.
I can sum up all the above in one word called LOVE ☺!
Eventually we move on, we always do, stronger, hopefully in our own skin, instead of a shiny "iron armour"!
Thank you so much for sharing a bit of your experiences :) Love heals so much !
Well detailed post.
Thank you :) As a doctor, I love to teach. Power to the People ! :)
The philosophy of the school room in one generation will be the philosophy of government in the next.
Yup this is so true. Insted of focusing on enhancing our I.Q. why not give our whole effort on developing our E.Q. its how they say. E.Q. gets you through school but E.Q. gets you through life. Nice post!
I would love this concept to be taught in schools :) Our children need these skills and will be much more secure in their place in the world with this intention. Thank you for sharing !
Indeed!
Love
I think people who have high IQ but because of unstable emotions and irritability are often mistaken in determining and solving the problem of life for not being able to concentrate. Emotions that are not developed, not overwhelmed, often make it fickle in the face of problems and behave towards others so much cause conflict.Emotion that is poorly processed also easily cause the other person is sometimes very eager to agree on something, but in a short time turned to reject it, thus disrupting the cooperation agreed with others. So, the person has a failure. So we need to control our emotions.
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You know what Wonder is the feeling of the philosopher, and philosophy begins in wonder.
Great post dear
To be a good doctor your emotion quotient (EQ) is more important than intelligence quotient (IQ).
It was very impressive post! Thanks for sharing with us, I have just followed you and waiting for the next posts.
i am very impressed with your post..you made me to think of a lot of things for my feelings..
Hey @basicbeing, just wanted to let you know that I nominated you take part in the 7 day Black and White Challenge in my last post.
wow...dear @basicbeing your post is a wondarful...& awsome picture...i love your post...thank you so very much for sharing..my dear @basicbeing..
https://steemit.com/philosophy/@basicbeing/emotional-intelligence-you-need-this-in-your-life-here-it-is
Interesting article @basicbeing, however you could be missing a few important things.
Some people are so long in such a bad place that they don't even trust you to begin with.
Still they may come to you for help.
But they may be VERY tired of helpers that do not help at all. But are merely there to feel good for trying to help. Without doing sh#t.
They listen but once it comes to helping they hide behing rules, and difficult things. Difficult for their carreer. Sometimes it's just better for a doctors carreer to look away. Or to give medicine that offer a nice trip to a fancy symposium about medicine, sponsored by the pharma industry, with paid for stayovers in expensive hotels.
Not all doctors are like that but some are. And people who had to deal with that kind of helpers lost a big deal of trust in helpers.
A person in a bad place needs real help, and should not be exploited by fake helpers who just want to be there to be the 'professional helper'.
Those kinds of helpers are leeches. They stop right at the point where they should start HELPING.
A good doctor should be able to see this too, but I don't have the feeling that there is ANY doctor out there who is able to see this.
The deeper someone is in a bad place the more experience he or she has to dodge helpers, good or bad. They just do not trust any promise of help.
Does that also count as 'emotional intelligence?'
I hope i'm not pulling things out of context with my flood of brainwaves.