3 Most Important Life-Changing Questions That Can Make You Even More Mindful

in #philosophy7 years ago

I have found this tale in the Ajahn Brahm’ s book „Opening the Door of Your Heart: And Other Buddhist Tales of Happiness” which I strongly recommend to anyone seeking a good, mind-opening philosophical book. The accurate author of this tale is Leo Tolstoy who I truly appreciate for his concept of continuous moral improvement of the individual and not to withstand the evil by violence.

This is one of my favorite tales because of it’s simplicity and the message coming along with it. In everyday life we face a lot of difficulties and dilemmas. Sometimes we are focused on our drives that much that we can totally forget about all the things that truly matter. About… Let’s see what the author meant :)

You can also find my personal opinion and comment to this tale just below it.

Please enjoy!

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“The Emperor's Three Questions”

One day it occurred to a certain emperor that if he only knew the answers to three questions, he would never stray in any matter.

  1. What is the best time to do each thing?

  2. Who are the most important people to work with?

  3. What is the most important thing to do at all times?

The emperor issued a decree throughout his kingdom announcing that whoever could answer the questions would receive a great reward. Many who read the decree made their way to the palace at once, each person with a different answer.

In reply to the first question, one person advised that the emperor make up a thorough time schedule, consecrating every hour, day, month and year for certain tasks and then follow the schedule to the letter. Only then could he hope to do every task at the right time.

Another person replied that it was impossible to plan in advance and that the emperor should put all vain amusements aside and remain attentive to everything in order to know what to do at what time.

Someone else insisted that, by himself, the emperor could never hope to have all the foresight and competence necessary to decide when to do each and every task, and what he really needed was to set up a Council of the Wise and then to act according to their advice.

Someone else said that certain matters require immediate decision and could not wait for consultation, but if he wanted to know in advance what was going to happen he should consult magicians and soothsayers.

The responses to the second question also lacked accord.

One person said that the emperor needed to place all his trust in administrators, another urged reliance on priests and monks, while others recommended physicians. Still others put their faith in warriors.

The third question drew a similar variety of answers.

Some said science was the most important pursuit. Others insisted on religion. Yet others claimed the most important thing was military skill.

The emperor was not pleased with any of the answers, and no reward was given.

After several nights of reflection, the emperor resolved to visit a hermit who lived on a mountain and was said to be an enlightened man. The emperor wished to find the hermit to ask him the three questions, though he knew the hermit never left the mountains and was known to receive only the poor, refusing to have anything to do with persons of wealth or power. So the emperor disguised himself as a simple peasant and ordered his attendants to wait for him at the foot of the mountain while he climbed the slope alone to seek the hermit.

Reaching the holy man's dwelling place, the emperor found the hermit digging a garden in front of his hut. When the hermit saw the stranger, he nodded his head in greeting and continued to dig. The labor was obviously hard on him. He was an old man, and each time he thrust his spade into the ground to turn the earth, he heaved heavily.

The emperor approached him and said, "I have come here to ask your help with three questions: When is the best time to do each thing? Who are the most important people to work with? What is the most important thing to do at all times?"

The hermit listened attentively but only patted the emperor on the shoulder and continued digging. The emperor said, "You must be tired. Here, let me give you a hand with that." The hermit thanked him, handed the emperor the spade, and then sat down on the ground to rest.

After he had dug two rows, the emperor stopped and turned to the hermit and repeated his three questions. The hermit still did not answer, but instead stood and pointed to the spade and said, "Why don't you rest now? I can take over again." But the emperor continued to dig. One hour passed, then two. Finally the sun began to set behind the mountain. The emperor put down the spade and said to the hermit, "I came here to ask if you could answer my three questions. But if you can't give me any answer, please let me know so that I can get on my way home."

The hermit lifted his head and asked the emperor, "Do you hear someone running over there?" The emperor turned his head. They both saw a man with a long white beard emerge from the woods. He ran wildly, pressing his hands against a bloody wound in his stomach. The man ran toward the emperor before falling unconscious to the ground, where he lay groaning. Opening the man's clothing, the emperor and hermit saw that the man had received a deep gash. The emperor cleaned the wound thoroughly and then used his own shirt to bandage it, but the blood completely soaked it within minutes. He rinsed the shirt out and bandaged the wound a second time and continued to do so until the flow of blood had stopped.

At last the wounded man regained consciousness and asked for a drink of water. The emperor ran down to the stream and brought back a jug of fresh water. Meanwhile, the sun had disappeared and the night air had begun to turn cold. The hermit gave the emperor a hand in carrying the man into the hut where they laid him down on the hermit's bed. The man closed his eyes and lay quietly. The emperor was worn out from a long day of climbing the mountain and digging the garden. Leaning against the doorway, he fell asleep. When he rose, the sun had already risen over the mountain. For a moment he forgot where he was and what he had come here for. He looked over to the bed and saw the wounded man also looking around him in confusion. When he saw the emperor, he stared at him intently and then said in a faint whisper, "Please forgive me."

"But what have you done that I should forgive you?" the emperor asked.

"You do not know me, your majesty, but I know you. I was your sworn enemy, and I had vowed to take vengeance on you, for during the last war you killed my brother and seized my property. When I learned that you were coming alone to the mountain to meet the hermit, I resolved to surprise you on your way back and kill you. But after waiting a long time there was still no sign of you, and so I left my ambush in order to seek you out. But instead of finding you, I came across your attendants, who recognized me, giving me this wound. Luckily, I escaped and ran here. If I hadn't met you I would surely be dead by now. I had intended to kill you, but instead you saved my life! I am ashamed and grateful beyond words. If I live, I vow to be your servant for the rest of my life, and I will bid my children and grandchildren to do the same. Please grant me you forgiveness."

The emperor was overjoyed to see that he was so easily reconciled with a former enemy. He not only forgave the man but promised to return all the man's property and to send his own physician and servants to wait on the man until he was completely healed. After ordering his attendants to take the man home, the emperor returned to see the hermit. Before returning to the palace the emperor wanted to repeat his three questions one last time. He found the hermit sowing seeds in the earth they had dug the day before.

The hermit stood up and looked at the emperor. "But your questions have already been answered."

"How's that?" the emperor asked, puzzled.

"Yesterday, if you had not taken pity on my age and given me a hand with digging these beds, you would have been attacked by that man on your way home. Then you would have deeply regrettednot staying with me. Therefore the most important time was the time you were digging in the beds, the most important person was myself, and the most important pursuit was to help me." “Later, when the wounded man ran up here, the most important time was the time you spent dressing his wound, for if you had not cared for him he would have died and you would have lost the chance to be reconciled with him. Likewise, he was the most important person, and the most important pursuit was taking care of his wound.”

“Remember that there is only one important time and that is now. The present moment is the only time over which we have dominion. The most important person is always the person you are with, who is right before you, for who knows if you will have dealings with any other person in the future? The most important pursuit is making the person standing at your side happy, for that alone is the pursuit of life.”


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This simple story really hits the point (or even 3 points) as most of the society is too busy thinking about what happened in the past or what might happen in the future and thus they’re not paying enough attention to the present moment. How many times have you caught yourself fading into some distant mental worlds and not knowing how you actually get there? What were you thinking about just a moment ago? So many people falling into the traps of their own mind, “going back in time” to eventually end up overthinking the past - what they should or shouldn’t have done. Or they move in the exactly opposite direction to the realm of speculations about the future - hopes, desires or expectations.

Rethinking events from the past won’t change the present and all the more - the future. Only in the present moment we can shape our future - it’s so obvious but we still keep forgetting about it so often. Overthinking the past very often ends up in regret which causes negative attitude in the present which then affects our future directly. From there we regret that something negative happened to us but instead of being aware in the present moment so that it won’t happen again we are just circulating and repeating negative schemes from the past. I think that regret is actually a very good mechanism which allows us to be better in the future. Take advantage of it! It is definitely good to analyse what happened but when you’ll come to some conclusions just stick to them and let go of the rest. Remember the lesson and forget about the unpleasant experience. Just promise to yourself: “I won’t do this again” - and stick to it.

Whenever the negative thoughts coming back to your mind just accept them. Try to be happy that your subconscious mind is so kind and taking that much care of you. After you accepted the gift just reframe it to the positive context and try to cheer up even more! - “Hey, next time I’ll encounter a situation like this I’ll be well prepared and perform a lot better!”, “Now I definitely know how not to do this, from there I am one step closer to knowing how to do this! Thank you my dear subconsciousness!” Then just let it go and focus on the present moment. One of the best things you can do right now is redirecting your focus into something physical like breath, like sensations coming out from the body. You can also focus more on your sight or hearing. Also you might want to focus on something productive like cleaning your room or washing the dishes. You might also do some workout (I recommend yoga :). The trick is just to redirect your focus from your mental world to what you are doing right now in the physicality. Focus on how you walk, try to be aware of every step, of every slightest move. Now when you are really aware of the present moment you might even notice how the senses are sharpening. That’s the beautiful present you’ve been missing only because of not paying attention to it.

But what about the future? Well as you know you can influence it only in the present moment so if you keep worrying about something you’ll be just wasting your time and energy and that is the real threat to your future performances. You might end up completely wasted and discouraged just because you were thinking about something too much. So maybe you could use your worries to perepare yourself for the future? Just do a brief analysis of the situation. What can you actually do about it? Who might help you? How you can make the best scenario more likely to happen? And how can you avoid the worst scenario? When you’ll come up with some ideas just start making them live.

When you already get to some point and you made a decision: “Ok I’ll do it!” - just stick to it and don’t analyse if you should or shouldn’t do it anymore. If you do, you’ll might end up confused with many doubts - just coming back to the point where you started but with more concerns and disturbing thoughts. So when you got the proper motive already, then you can move to action. If you’ll be sticking just to those two words and connect them then you’ll receive motivation. But, if you’ll put anything between them (like doubts, hesitation, worries or any other unnecessary thoughts) you’ll probably end up not willing to do it.

That’s why the present moment is so important, because no matter how hard you’ll be thinking about different possibilities you won’t get anywhere until you’ll actually make same movement towards them. Sooner or later you’ll have to decide - so are you acting or you would rather just stay where you are?

The future will always be somehow different than your expectations so the only way to avoid disappointment is not to expect anything. Easier said than done - I know! But when you get rid of your expectation you’ll open up for endless new possibilities. You’ll be able to find positives in every situation just because you didn’t expect anything so everything that happened might be interpreted as you like! When you turn from expectations to acceptance you’ll be always happy about the outcome and take it as something beneficial. Even if not directly beneficial or not beneficial on the first sight, you might just take it as a life lesson which occurred to help you being better in the future.

To be curious of the world around us really helps if we want to participate in the present moment. Ask little children (although they too little to response they’ll just show you!). They are so curious about everything and the time completely doesn’t matter for them. They just are, and just do what they want - exploring, touching, experiencing, fully being in the moment - that’s why they learn so quickly!

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The funniest thing to me is that so many people want to escape from the past or the future that they’re doing drugs or overdose alcohol - just to be here and now for some time. Well, it works only for a very short period and the day after you’ll probably find yourself even more down in the dumps. Isn’t it better to be mindful all the time? So try practicing mindfulness or aware curiosity for some time and see for yourself how wonderful it is!
As to the second and third Q&A they’re very connected to the first one. Actually in my opinion the first answer is like a bridge leading to and from them.

Why?

Only in the present moment we can truly appreciate the others. It is impossible to fully appreciate other people when we are drifting into our own realms and not paying attention to them. The most precious gift you can make for another person is to commit you time to them. It’s so simple yet so easy to forget. Sometimes just a smile is enough. Sometimes a little hug or some cheer up will be like a salvation to the one in need. All you have to do is to show some care. You really don’t have to sacrifice anything but just some time of yours. Treat others the way you want to be treated and appreciate those around you. Take care of the others and don’t expect anything in return. Just give and lay back.

But what will I have in return?

Well as the Universe likes balance you certainly have to get something right? But what could that be? Maybe you’ll just receive some opportunities to fulfill what you wanted? Or maybe someone will help you in the future? Maybe you’ll be able to handle unpleasant moments on yourself better? Maybe you’ll just get some satisfaction and feel some joy? Or maybe you’ll have the opportunity to understand something important without having to experience it by yourself? For me the most valuable what you can get is the life experience and thus deeper understanding of your future experiences. If you’re headed toward personal or spiritual growth you should be happy that you could just help someone and save him some effort. Maybe you just started a chain reaction - because the man you helped will be inspired to help others and so on. Realise that you have just participated and contributed to the growth of the whole society or as I more like it - collective consciousness.

Happiness really multiplies when it's divided!

Hope you enjoyed :)

Please share your thoughts in the comments.

Have a nice day!

Source of the tale: http://www.textfiles.com/stories/emperor3.txt

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