No more dreams, and I'm doing much better; but in everything there is a learning;
My wife introduced me to the "Akashic records" only to realise that iv been accessing them each time i do my meditation; its the moment/s when you receive knowledge from a source from outside of yourself; suddenly during your meditation you are given this information pertinent to your need/s; a very enjoyable and exciting experience, often found the need to write it down with hast, or share with someone; so true though, that when we share such an experience; you somehow loose some of the personal meaning (meant for you). Even the scriptures refer to it as; "dont cast pearl before swine"
Something I've wanted to mention is that: when i refer to my pain, its not for a 'woe begone me' reason, but to try and put things in perspective. 'Pain' what a force; changes your perspective on your current understanding of just where you are; can allow you to see life in a way no other can, weather right or wrong, makes your personal perspective very much your own, but can hold such insight, or distortion of another's perspective. Maybe i should have titled this blog "perspective" however will put it as a tag. Question is...now that all my dreams have come to pass, and given the last one, pertaining to my demise, yet I'm still hear; yet know and not a fickle knowing but one that lies deep within my soul; I'm still dying. Medically I'm diagnosed to die; my sister died at 35, my mother died, and both my daughter's are showing systems, related; its not a story, its going to happen; lost more the 25kg in 6 months, getting weaker and weaker, all the signs are there, no doubt in my doctor/s, wife and friends eyes. Funny that, "friends" all have run away, question not, as its not for me to judge, but noted. Trying to find a helper/care giver, live in; remember i live alone and life alone in my condition is having to get up Regardles of my physical state, "hell" hum 'perspective'
Foot note: I've become very aware of the comfort I'm finding in doing this, "blogging" strange that as I'm share my most personal feelings with the world, yet i detest face book and whatsup (see them as more damaging then helpful) never thought I'd do this (steemit) yet its been rewarding, personally, and yet i dont care for the earning potential. But "pure of hart" pray someone may benifit. Time for my "friend" (morphine and pain killers) both killing me in there own way, ironic? Seek "your pure 
of hart" for what else is there? iamstephen
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