YOU ARE THE VILLAIN IN SOMEONE ELSE'S STORY
Their story is wrong, and your story is the right one! Is that true? Do you sometimes wish you could see inside other peoples minds and hearts? It might seem easier that way. Perspective is an interesting thing. We all can share an experience but walk away with entirely different versions of it. Some of those versions say you are the “bad guy” and you can’t control what they believe about you. For the other person, they will swear you are wrong and sometimes try to convince others of their truth.
How strange it feels to be considered a bad guy when you try so hard to be the good guy. I understand that! Some people don’t like me. Then there are a couple of people that seem to hate me. I know their stories, and I can see things from their perspective. I also understand that they don’t know me and that’s ok too. Humans are complicated in the sense that we draw conclusions based on our belief systems. Your beliefs are most likely very different from mine.
IF WE COULD SEE INSIDE OTHER PEOPLE’S HEARTS OR MINDS – DAILY INSPIRATION
You have formed your belief systems based on your life experiences. You then took those life experiences, and you interpreted every single one. You crafted a story around those experiences and formed a belief that you called the truth. Not all of your beliefs came from experiences though. Some of your beliefs came to you from your parents, family, friends or co-workers. You accepted them as truth because someone else told you it was true and you believed them.
You can imagine how different we all are. It is like we are all watching the same event, but we are all wearing glasses that show us a unique variation of that event. You have crafted the lenses in your glasses over a lifetime, and I have crafted mine. Even though we can not see into each others mind and hearts we can work at understanding each other. Once you understand and appreciate how different we all perceive things it becomes easier to let go of the need to be right.
My perception is no more "right" than yours is. Things start to get tricky as we form friendships and relationships with each other. When we feel right we become blind. We begin to interact and share the same intimate spaces. We stumble over each other and find it challenging to understand how the other person is seeing things. When there is conflict, it can seem so clear to us, but to them, it can feel like we are working against them.
How can we navigate these waters when we can’t put on their glasses to see things their way? You can, well kind of! Reminders like this one help us keep perspective. This information is intended to remind you that your truth is just that, YOURS! It is not the same for those around you and assuming it is will land you in deep trouble.
This quote is by Jim Brown:
“I’m not interested in trying to work on people’s perceptions. I am who I am, and if you don’t take the time to learn about that, then your perception is going to be your problem.”
Thanks to brainyquote.com for that quote.
We must remember that the person standing before you is their own person they are not there to fulfill your needs. This other person is and will always be separate no matter how close you get or how much you trust each other. You will never know all the thoughts that run through their head. You will never see into other peoples minds or hearts. You will never completely understand everything from their perspective, and that’s OK.
Respect plays a significant role in honoring those around you. Respect that they are their own human and see things through their lens. Do not require them to conform to your way of thinking but rather allow them to hold their truth is they desire to. Imposing our will onto others is not usually for their good after all.
Open communication and discussion can be tremendously helpful when you are in a relationship. Communication can bridge any gap in understanding especially when mutual respect is present as well as when each party involved is willing to drop their need to be right. If you are the villain in their story, it will be very challenging for them to change how they see you. It is not, but it is challenging.
Never forget all you have control over is you and your perspective. You can change your view of anyone at any time, all on your own! The brain responds to visualization just like it does real live events. So you can visualize an event that can shift your perception of someone. It will create new connections to form in your brain in regards to that person. It will allow you eventually to see them through new eyes. Your body will begin to respond differently to them as well.
You have all the power to change your end of the relationship. What they do with their perception of you, you can not control, but you also don't need to. Always begin within. That is where you start, with yourself. Set your intent to work towards a goal of healing a relationship and do your work. Then sit back and watch as things change for you even if nothing changes for the other person!
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How do you see the world, and how does the world see you?
I love how she goes into detail about perspective and sahre three tips to help you gain clarity about your world. Great work!
“In the end, when our values are aligned with our actions, we have a clear path to a fulfilling career and life that will not only benefit ourselves, but others as well.” rozcoach