I’m not so unfeeling I cannot cry. I didn’t cry when I burned my hand on my ceramic pan, cooking a frittata so grand. I did after someone said breathe, brother. Some things are easier to write in pencil. Before you write it in ink, think.
I want to tell you what happened today, but it might be too fresh. I can’t find the rhythm in my words. I’m stumbling still like right after the call.
What can I say? You can’t hide your true nature. People like to say you can’t change; they don’t have the story right. I was handling a case for a guy, nice as I am, because I had feeling. I have a good friend by the name of John. This was not my friend.
He told me Tuesday, his case was urgent. So I obliged him and put the word out for him once we were off the phone. I mean, I worked mighty quick. I was tired, he called at the end of the day, so when I was meant to cc another guy, Seth, I forgot that part. I was ready to punch out.
Still, Seth was on the ball, so he let me know after I sent him a direct message. Seth isn’t the only one hustling on the pitch.
He passes word to my manager, Rickey. His name is spelled differently than another buddy of mine. They’re both dependable guys. And Rickey, the one I don’t ever call Rick, let me know I should get with the guy to take a closer look at his deal.
I knew he was crying this took a while already. I, of course, the vision of customer support assured him the matter would meet an expeditious resolution.
I knew straightaway his problem was a job for a shadowy supercoder team that handles workflows and database pieces on the customer side. That’s why I hit up Seth so fast. He talks to that team, I bet, like a customer manager.
So I didn’t get talking to the guy again like Rickey suggested, but I thought very simply. I won’t be punished for doing what I was told. A community of anti-vax advocates just posted online somewhere. So I called the guy.
Then, he gets to grandstanding about what a Draconian trial this has been, the effort to petition the aid of normally agreeable company; O, the humanity! O, what horror! In fifteen years, miserly support rep, I have not borne such a grievance as the one today!
He went on like that for a breath or two, then suggested he get his manager. At which point, I thought, what an excellent idea. I need a witness. I mean, really, folks are not going to believe this.
This other guy, so far from the gentle Tim I know, comes in huffing and puffing right on cue. It almost felt rehearsed and dramatized at the same time. It was an informercial on how to be an ingrate.
I want to petition the call, but it was damning enough. I played it cool til the end out there. I watched a video somewhere about the best way to handle disrespect. Distance yourself. Take 5, 10 seconds. Then respond.
It does 2 things. It gives yourself time to think, breathe. Seconds say to their boxers, ‘Don’t get swept up in their pace.’ The other thing it does hits harder. You tell the person the loudest way possible you don’t respond to that level. You, unlike them, do not go there.
It is below my level. You say, it is beneath me.
I mean, what would say to this?
“If you worked for me, you’d be fired by now!”
I should be glad I don’t. I have the good fortune to avoid employment from you, Tim.
And it worked. My silence, assisted by a boom mic that mutes when I flip it up, piqued their interest.
“Why can’t you respond to anything else? Why can you answer the simple questions?”
I don’t respond to that level of disrespect.
