Hearing Impaired + Music. Truth and Fiction.

Sometimes posts just happen! This one is unexpected but someone asked me what do I listen to and were literally shocked that I don't listen to music. SHOCKED!

I get that a lot actually, so I wanted to clear a few things out and tell you the truth. Not all hearing impaired are anti-music. In fact, a lot like it just fine! It only matters how serious the damage is. I can't talk for anyone else though so here's my personal experience.

From my early impairment ( when I was about 12) to a couple of years back when it got worse, I could listen to music just fine. I could never hear the lyrics though but if I read them online or knew the words then I COULD hear even those. It's weird like that, but knowing what comes helps the brain process the sounds better and actually makes the sound resemble words. Still, not hearing the words is not such a big deal and I felt that my music-enjoyment was par with anyone else.

I had favorite songs and artist. I went to concerts and had a blast. I went to clubs and danced, even talked to people while listening to music..sometimes even danced and talked to people! I know, right?
My tastes were not so exquisite, I could never recognize a song from a note or some crazy stuff people do. In fact, I took a longer time than most to recognize even a favorite artist(Robbie Williams!). But all these meant nothing to me in terms of enjoyment. In fact, I enjoyed seeing how some people were freaky good at identifying songs and when a song was a copy of other songs and how this person had a good voice and this not....

In fact, I can honestly say that I went to karaoke. ONCE. Alone. Long story. Whatever.

The idea here is that for my previous level of hearing loss music was more or less natural. At the current level of loss though, there's a whole different discussion.
For once, I can not listen to music at a normal level anymore without a hearing aid. I need it LOUD. Now that;s not good either! Loud music can hurt my ear. So it's kind of a catch-22 right here :) I like to listen to club music from time to time, because it's usually rythm and bass. I can totally get it and some electronic sets are quite a small joy to hear, even to me. I usually take my aid off because....

...listening to music with the hearing aid is not such a pleasurable thing. I dunno if that's common for everyone but it makes sense to me. A hearing aid is mostly designed to take certain frequencies and amplify them to our needs while keep certain frequencies at the same level, imagine what kind of damage this kind of distortion can do to music. In my mind, is clear that there will never be possible [ well, not soon ] a hearing aid that is great for music. I can hear that IS music, but I rarely can make out a song. I can't tell anymore if a song IS good or not. One of my biggest regrets is that I can listen to opera anymore. I had quite a little pleasure in that, though did not go often.

One exception here is that if i can remember the song from before "the aid" period, I can hear it better. Again, this is the magic of our brains that will steer you in the right direction..if only it can know what that is. So, sometimes, old songs still resonate with me. It's not the same and it can be heartbreaking because I still remember how good a song sounded. Now, something is OFF. It's not pretty to be faced with what you lost and listening to old songs can be an exercise in cruelty...
But it can also be nice and beautiful and evoke memories long lost, and friends no longer friendly and lovers no longer loved. People, places and parties that I shared with, emotions that were and still are forever connected with a certain song that was blaring in a club, in the car, in my mind. I can hear it in my head like a whisper so then I turn to YouTube to listen in for real. It's what it is but I feel anyway blessed to still be able to hear them like that.

So, in conclusion, I get the power of music. I get what it can do and how much it can help but also know that for me, any kind of salvation is not going to be musical :)
I will never be a music-fans or obsessed like you. I don't have playlist for every event, emotion or activity. I don't get lost in music at the gym. I don't wear headphones ever. And yet..

I leave you with a song, one of my favorites from back in the day and even today:)

till next time,
r.