I have such a hard time with this. I can't manage kids being mean to my littles. At a certain point I let them learn to work it out, and between siblings I try really hard to not get involved unless the noise is making me insane or there is blood. But when someone is mean to my littles, shut the front door. Honestly, though, it's almost worse when your kid is the mean one. Little girls seem to go through this awful phase, and I'm always glad to get through it. Not looking forward to it with the littlest one because she already has about a billion pounds of sass.
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I know they are all so different, my 10 month old is a force, she has so much power, am looking forward to seeing how she grows up.
I had to tell that girl to go, my oldest is upset cos she said now her friend doesn't want to see me, but I can live with that, I can not have my 5 year old been threatened. Ah the days of parenting, always something exciting or unexpected happen. x
It's definitely a roller coaster. I had one little girl push Sophie into a creek one time. Her parents were rainbow family too. The little girl was just mean for no reason. I sure hope she grew out of that.
I think you're right to keep the girl away. By 12 she should be long past that phase. Maybe someone with older kids or without kids can help her. You don't need that on you right now.