Of gravel and stars

I spent the day with Daddy. I didn't cry once and, hardly complained, even when we came in from the park to eat lunch and I still wanted to ride the horse. We talked about a lot of things as I helped him clean the house. We talk a lot together about a lot of things and even though we cleaned, between we drew some pictures and read some books.

We went out to the field again today and kicked the ball, I ran some of the lines and on the way back, Daddy took this picture of our shadows on the ground. That round thing isn't his belly, it is a football that is hiding his belly behind it. I was exploring how our shadows worked and noticed how mine disappeared in the shadows of the trees. He told me that the shadow is always on the other side of where the sun is. It made sense to me but, not everything does.

I asked where Mummy was a lot today and the answer was "studying" which means, not home. I miss her when she isn't at home, even if she is just going to take the dog outside for a pee. When she is gone all day, it is a long day. I miss Mummy more than Daddy but I think Daddy understands as after all, he is 'bad cop' in the parenting duties, a role he didn't want but, someone has to do it.

We are going to the cottage tomorrow to see Mummi and Pappa. I was very small when I was there last year but, it was actually the first place I ever took steps by myself. Mummy and Daddy had big smiles on their faces that morning as I walked, it doesn't seem to take much to make them happy, just a little bit more is needed so, I do my best to keep them entertained.

What makes them happiest is when I learn to do things by myself, I think that eventually though, that will also make them the saddest. Parent's work so hard to help children become their own person but then, all of that hard work has to be let go so it can go off into the world alone. Without them. Of course, I will always carry them inside me but what will they have of me?

Out in the world we find out what we are really made of though, it is the place we have to live. They say we are made of stardust but, perhaps we are just made of gravel, like daddy and I in the picture or, perhaps we are just shadows that will get lost in those of the trees.

<3
Smallsteps