The public tantrum - every parent's worst nightmare. The feeling of being watched, being judged by all those surrounding eyes burning into you and your mid-meltdown toddler. That has got to be worse when those eyes are the world's media though right?
Not necessarily so it seems. The other day I came across this video of Princess Charlotte in Germany with her parents, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge -aka Wills and Kate- when the dreaded tantrum struck.
Instead of getting flustered, Kate calmly bends down, has a quick word in Charlotte's ear and like a true pro scoops her up in her arms to comfort her. Just like that...end of tantrum.
Now I would love to know what Kate said to Charlotte that day because having been the subject of similar scale tantrums in the past, none or ours have been resolved so elegantly.
Having been recently described as a 'strong willed child' by our health visitor, Fox's tantrums can be a challenge.
On this particular occasion I had made the mistake of trusting the terrible twoster to walk around the shop instead of being confined to her pushchair. We made it around the first couple of aisles without any issues. Great I thought, until something in the distance caught her eye. She suddenly bolted towards her target. Here we go again.
'Fox, stop!', I commanded in my best mummy voice.
Obediently she stopped running.
'Come back here, we're going this way', still in mummy voice.
'No, I don't want to!' replied the all too familiar favourite phrase.
Shit. Here we really go.
With an arm-full of items I walked over to her with the intention of calmly talking her by the hand, leading her back to where we left off to continue our shopping.
As I took her hand however she dropped to the floor and began a full on kicking screaming tantrum.
After a couple of failed distraction techniques I decided I needed to abandon my shopping once again and exit the store as quickly as possible. I picked up the screaming toddler in the only way I could restrain her - horizontally across my body with snot being wiped across one arm and legs kicking furiously at the other.
We made our way out of the shop with glances of disapproval seemingly shooting at us from all directions.
As we reached the car I could already feel the tears building. This had been just another in a long list of tantrums that had ended in a similar way and I was beginning to feel I couldn't even leave the house without causing some sort of scene wherever we went.
I strapped her into the car maybe a little harder than usual and we both sat in the car sobbing while I sent an all too familiar text to the husband...
'I've had enough, I quit. She's your fucking daughter tonight.'
In case you haven't already guessed, mothering isn't something that comes particularly naturally to me. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids to bits but each day is hard. Really hard.
If there's anything I've learned over the years though it's that everything is just a phase and good or bad, will eventually pass.
As for the spectators of the tantrum, well they only exist for one of two reasons;
Either they've never had to deal with kids and have no fucking idea what you're going through (I now choose to pay little attention to comments from these types) OR they understand all too well and have probably been there themselves and are therefore silently sympathising with your situatuon.
Whatever you may say about the Royals, Duchess Kate has my utmost respect for diffusing Charlotte's tantrum attempt so smoothly, maintaining her usual poise whilst doing so.
Meanwhile I'm sure I'm not the only mere mortal just trying to do my best with my own little Princess.
Love Kate x
(not Duchess...just regular Kate)
What a great post Kate! We don't have kids unfortunately, wasn't meant to be obviously but we love them and have some friends with little ones so get to spend some time with them on occasion. Today at work I was trying to consult with a lady in my office. She had walked in and needed some assistance. She had a baby that was tearing it up! I mean, this kid was going full retard! I could not concentrate and ended up calling a halt to the meeting. I will be seeing her again tomorrow to complete the consult.
I really respect parents who handle their kids tantrums calmly rather than escalating the situation themselves. However, the way I understand it that's not always possible. Sometimes you get snotted on! Like you today I guess. :)
I observe people, it's a pastime I enjoy and I see many parents actually drowning in parenthood. They give it all up, everything, to parent and I think whilst the child needs good parenting the parent also needs to be themselves. A human bing. In your case a Kate in particular.
We can't be all things to everyone and as human beings are fallible. It seems you handled your daughter's tantrum in a reasonable way and your subsequent sobbing is normal I think. I haven't been in a position you were in before but empathise in that it can't be easy.
Seems you handled it well and as for the sobbing? Well, like a phoenix you will rise from the ashes of desperation and be new again....Just hand her over to @munchell and take a break.
It's hard to believe that little angel in your last picture could throw such a tantrum, but then I scrolled back to the snot photo at the top and it all made sense. :) Really good post Kate! I'm Resteeming this one!
Aww thank you! It really can be such a rollercoaster and you can go from sobbing to laughter in a matter of minutes and back again on a tantrum fueled day. Luckily, the good times make all the bad worthwhile - otherwise I might have actually quit a long time ago!
And trust me...sometimes when @munchell walks through the door he does literally get the kids thrown at him 😂
You're absolutely spot on about needing to be a human being. I can't ALWAYS be mummy which is why I enjoy things like my motorbike, the odd night out with friends and of course steemit to name but a few. Things that make me feel like Kate instead of mummy...that's maybe a whole other post lol.
Thank you as always for your comment :)
This was a great post to read! While, luckily, my Mini has never had a public tantrum, she has had tantrums, screaming to the point where I thought to myself (on multiple occasions) "this is it. this is the day someone calls the cops" because you would think by her screams, that I was beating her. Every parent knows the dread of tantrums, be it public or private. Stay strong mama, brighter days are coming.
Thank you for your lovely comment :)
Great post! I'm absolutely dreading the first tantrum my wee girl has. She's already showing how stubborn she is and is just now 10 months old. Eek!
I think princess Kate did a fantastic job and I bet you do a great job too.
The text you sent to your husband is hilarious by the way, and is definitely something I could see myself sending to mine!
Your daughter is beautiful by the way. Soooo cute!
Aww thank you so much! I'm sure you'll do a great job too when your little one has her first public performance haha!
He's had a few of those texts over the years! I think he's just learned to dismiss them as 'wife tantrums' now 😂
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