I am extremely blessed to be a mother to two children. Two very different children. Us mothers were actually discussing this yesterday at a birthday party that my son attended. I turned around and said, “it always amazes me how you can have two children from the same parents and yet they are completely different.” I mean, seriously just think about that statement for a second. The mix was the same hahaha. So why are they so different? Simple, we are all individuals in the end.
My son, my husband and I have very similar personalities. Our daughter is the complete opposite in every sense of the word. It brings a certain flavor to our family mix that at times is sweet and at times spicy. In fact, a lot of the time it’s more like extra spicy. It’s always fascinated me how completely different her personality is compared to the rest of us.
She lives her life to her own beat. She runs around the house dancing and making up her own songs. She climbs to the top of the washing line pole like a monkey. She’s fearless and couldn’t care less if she is creating chaos as she jumps from one thing to another. Our biggest challenge as her parents is to try and raise her without destroying her strong, independent and free spirit personality. This is a different challenge all together. How do you raise a child that is challenging you in almost every situation? The simple answer? Chocolate hahaha.
Jokes aside. I’ve just found a mixture of “pick your battles,” and “non-reactive parenting,” has worked the best for me. As a parent you really can’t win them all. I learnt this very early on where she was concerned. I remember one particular day very well. She was still a newborn and no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t get her to sleep unless she was in my arms. I bought slings, every type of dummy known to man and tried various different methods of rocking her to sleep. NOTHING WORKED. One morning I eventually just looked at her, lay down on the couch and that is what we did every day while I was on maternity leave. I felt completely useless but at least she was sleeping. She was sleeping and I wasn’t driving myself mad trying to figure out how to get her to stay asleep after I put her down.
The non-reactive parenting approach happened after she got older and started fighting back. I quickly realized that screaming and shouting wasn’t doing anything other than make the situation more explosive. Sure, I still have my days and anyone that knows her well will understand why this is the case. She is extremely good at pushing a person to, “that point.” Immediately after the dual shouting match is over I realize how she managed to best me again. Thankfully my husband normally jumps in around this time and things quickly settle down again. It’s something that my husband and I are extremely blessed to have. We jump in immediately when we can see that one of us is not coping. It’s this balance that has helped us both deal with challenging situations in a calmer manner.
In the end she’s feisty and determined, as was I when I was younger. I love her for that. I love how she flows with the flow and isn’t concerned with this or that. It’s an incredibly important thing for a woman to have. She will need this one day when she is older and I’ll be damned if I’m the one to break her spirit and take that away from her.
Thank you for reading and remember to keep smiling 😊
Photo was taken by me 😊, with my Samsung Galaxy S8.
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Sounds just like my son! We also go the "pick your battles" route. With these determined kids people just don't understand that normal discipline methods just don't work on them, just stokes their little fires more in fact! But our spirited kids are the ones that make the world go around, their minds are amazing and we need to nourish their determintion.
I couldn't agree with you more @sweetpea. That fire needs to be nurtured and directed in a positive way.
She is gorgeous. My first child is quite spirited as well. When she was young, I bought a book on raising "a spirited child". It was well thumbed. In the end, it was exactly what you are doing; non reactive parenting coupled with my spouse jumping in when I was at my wit's end. As a teenager, this persistence to do things is now paying off so I am sure it will pay off for you too!
Thank you very much @johannegauthier. I'm glad to hear that it worked for you too. I'm hoping that, that will be the case too when she is older.
Variety is the spice of life. Having your children with different personalities really makes family fun. Am glad to know that you have a great daughter that is so determined and you also have a husband that steps in to assist you when you need him.
Enjoy ma'am!
Thank you very much and it certainly does @kweenbrand.
It's great to have that partner that will jump in and assist you when you are not coping.
Unfortunately it does not feel the same in a three generation system like on my end. I have to find other ways of dealing with my challenges.
Cherish it! I am sure your children will benefit from it!
I'm sure it can be quite different in a situation like yours @zakludick. I'm incredibly grateful to have my husbands assistance when needed as he is often more patient than I am, especially when it comes to this little one.
My wife and I have different personality so we rarely argued. My older son who has similar character as her would always have dispute. My younger son's character is quite similar to mine so he can mix well with my wife. Your daughter would be the gem in the house. Priceless!
Thank you @fun2learn, she definitely adds a lot into our mix.
you got a cute child. stay blessed
Thank you very much.
Thank you.