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I think that you should avoid violence whenever possible, but sometimes, a kid just needs a spanking. But you can't be nice, it has to be a traumatic experience and if done right, it will really teach your kid right from wrong. But if you are fast to violence, (spanking), then they will not learn their lesson and just think that you hate them. You can never do it out of emotions, you can only result to it as a consequence of their actions. But time-outs are good too.

Avoid violence, except sometimes, in which case use violence.

I try to avoid time out whenever possible, too. I'm a little torn on it, actually. But I appreciate your peaceful philosophy to parenting. thank you!

Offering time-outs (opposed to mandating) has worked really well for us. I'm an introvert, and sometimes need to be alone to collect my thoughts and emotions to keep all the input from being too much to process (and I'm an adult!).

This perspective really helped me understand the value of encouraging "the littlest tribe members" (as we must train them to be) to recognize when they are feeling overwhelmed and to take a step back to re-gain composure so that rational results can be achieved.

Now at age 3, when a tantrum is imminent we can ask her, "do you need to take some time for yourself?" and she'll shout, "YES I DO!" grab her teddy bears and go to her room until she's calm. ...The hardest part is keeping a straight face.

That's so adorable! And a great example. Thank you!