It now appears that there has been a role reversal, where the child is the one who "manage" their parents, making them what they want.
I believe the change is mainly because parents have become too permissive and are becoming less strict with their children, they do not know to establish rules and set limits. I think that influence has many factors including: inexperience of the parents, because of their parent's youth, parents being not a good example to the child, parental separations, etc.
Although I think the primary factor is that parents do not spend too much time with their children because of their employment status; so they feel guilty for not being able to spend more time with their children doing activities and not setting them limits. Then the child sees that you can do everything you want. When they grow up, that's when the problem appears as if their parents have taught them that not everything they can do or get but they will not understand, so the child will be frustrated and will also have serious problems to deal with different situations that may arise throughout their life.
It is necessary to set limits so that the child can develop in life.
A good way to do that is if we are not pointing "every now " only their negative behaviors ; what you need to do is point them clearly the limits and that the child knows them and what the consequences (must be positive and negative, not just limit ourselves in punishing them, we always have to also reward them with what we want to happen again) are; it is also very important to stand firm in a position and be consistent with what we tell our child. And above all, if we recognize and reinforce what is right, no matter how minimal , as this will strengthen their self-esteem.
Many parents do not reinforce or praise their children, paying attention only to negative behaviors; This is a serious mistake for parents because what they do is reinforce those behaviors that are not appropriate. So the best solution is to ignore or not pay attention to negative behaviors of children and reinforce or reward those that are positive.
interesting. I'm Canadian living and teaching in China and I don't really agree with how most children are raised here. But it works... here anyways. They often ask me about raising children which I tell them I do not have kids. They want my opinion anyways.
I will send them this post cause i agree with it.
Could it be because they have backgrounds in communism that their way of raising kids is different? Anyways, thank you very much
well i hear through the grape vine its the same way they've been doing it for centuries.
An iron fist in a velvet glove.
Been saying it for years, Most parents don't pay enough attention to their kids because they're having 5 at a time, I have 2 kids, Who always have my attention, my 3 year old is in nursery.. I've had child development teachers and other professional bodies commend me and my partner for how smart she is... Don't ask me where she gets that from... Probably the other half.. Great things on the horizon if the World sorts it's act out.
Right, having 5 kids is a difficult task especially for those who had their first at a very young age. Stress and a lot of problems complicate things.
interesting. I'm Canadian living and teaching in China and I don't really agree with how most children are raised here. But it works... here anyways. They often ask me about raising children which I tell them I do not have kids. They want my opinion anyways.
I will send them this post cause i agree with it.