Are there mental habits that will increase your self-confidence? Most definitely. Hopefully by the end of this article you'll be a little more self-sure, or at least know how to be more self-confident; here's how:
1. Don’t Worry About Feeling Confident All The Time
It sounds counter-intuitive, doesn't it? But through research it is said that both self-confidence and self-doubt both go hand in hand. A little self-doubt can keep you humble enough to realise you may need to learn more or work harder at something, it may even give you the added determination to keep going and show everyone what you're capable of. Doubt, causes us to question what we're doing, mentally prepares us to accept change, propels us to work harder or differently and leads us to take more cooperative approaches in dealing with people who disagree with us. This reminder is really important that your feelings of confidence will ebb and flow during the course of life and fluctuation is completely normal, so don't worry!
2. Show Concern Towards Your Future Self
This action, caring for your future self, could involve actions such as picking out your outfit for tomorrow as far-sightedness because you'll have a busy morning and might not find the time and keeping organized and prepared beforehand always helps, or filling up your gas tank in the afternoon because you have busy mornings and in the long run exercise is better for health as you age, etc. You could say to yourself, I may not want to do this, but my Future Self would appreciate it. People who don't procrastinate are also likely to be people who want their Future Selves to be happy. It's your choice if you want to be one of them.
3. Practice Compassionate And Realistic Self-Talk
Being able to realise when you're suffering, and to be able to tell yourself tomorrow is another day, helps you accept yourself even when you haven't been able to handle yourself the way you would have preferred. Being supportive and kind to yourself when you have made mistakes will not only boost your self-esteem; it will also boost your motivation and self-control, you could also call it the willpower instinct.
4. Relabel “Failures” As Setbacks, Challenges, Opportunities, or Learning Experiences
Renaming failures as challenges for instance, will immediately lower the level of stress hormones in the body. Words have a huge impact, possibly even bigger than we would like to admit. Simply changing one word can initiate a cascade of problem-solving thoughts. Even a robber seems more professional if you call him a criminal instead, so analyzing past mistakes and setbacks may also improve future performance. Adopt a new set of vocabulary for yourself and see the difference it can make.
5. Don’t Assume That Other People Know What You Know. Own Your Expertise!
How often is it that people have come to you to ask about the best places to find inexpensive clothing? Think about the times when people have turned to you for information; your friends realise that you have numerous areas of expertise, whether its knowing whats the best technique to sharp a pencil or how to plant vegetables in your home garden, own what you know even if its little in your opinion and have the self-assurance that you're significant in the world.
6. Know your strengths
Remember those times you've received compliments or positive feedback from others. Notice how much you enjoy or dislike certain kind of tasks. Take in the way you contributed to a situation and made it better. When you've had a success, mentally replay it, again and again, and remember and savor the positive feedback from others, it helps you internalise your strengths. Likewise, remembering other postive experiences will ingrain your special qualities into your brain. The mind needs constant reminds of its achievements and abilities, despite what they are, keep them fresh in your memory and know that you do, as an individual, possess certain skill that only you can exhibit in your own unique way.
7. Remember your higher purpose and your meaningful values and goals
Remind yourself of your most important values, your goals, your life missions; they can give you more willpower, persistence and self-confidence, according to considerable research. Your values keep you oriented, and point to the core of who you are.
If in the end, nothing works, and you feel prey to constant feelings of worthlessness or self-hatred, it's always a good idea to consult a good therapist. They will help you challenge any deep-seated negative beliefs about yourself. It involves time, money and work, yes, but those things are ultimately smaller compared to your self-confidence and mental health. There's a lot of truth in this quote by Maxwell Maltz,
Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on.
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