WHY did Bernie Sanders not win the election? Well, it's quite simple really... let me tell you. Both Trump and Clinton both complained that Bernie Sanders was such a mack-daddy that his breath always reeked of pussy. He would tongue-punch vag for breakfast, lunch and dinner so he always had breath that smelled like tuna fish baking in a car with the windows rolled up.
Couple that with the fact that his trousers, (also referred to as 'the missle silo' because of the massive 2-foot Jewish weiner inside of them) were always practically splitting in half like Bruce Banner turning into the Hulk when he would even get slightly aroused.
These and only these reasons.... are why Bernie Sanders did not win the election. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.
That was certainly an interesting take on things.