Dow Jones Down 750 Points, Banks Pay You to Get a Loan, US Auto Sales Being Hidden

in #news5 years ago (edited)

Who could have seen this coming, besides Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles? Economists were quick today to draw cause and effect from yield curves inverting and a potential recession, in between sips of their Monster energy drinks and realizing that now apps are on phones too.

In other news, the sky was blue, and the banks will actually pay you to take on the risk of a new mortgage. And thus the status quo continues uninterrupted, and we hail our glorious benevolent masters.

Historians will write: "It was a Wednesday."

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