I might should define my version of "in" ... you and yours are in it, when you say

My heart goes out to those that I heard screaming for help all night, those that we there in person watching this horror,

Then I certainly see you in it, even if you only heard from afar and even if your friend was nearby, you are "in it" as in you are going through it also. And you and your whole country are going to go through a recovery process.

Unfortunately, y'all have more to recover from, and then this.

I'm glad you're looking at logical reasons behind the incident. Some will simply sit and say something along the lines of, "life is just so unfair." Etc. Sigh.