The Clouds Are A Little Darker Over The World Today.

I woke up this morning as I have done each day for almost 54 years. I rolled out of bed, it's more of a heave and shuffle actually... put on my leg, argued with 4 of my 11 dogs to get out of my way, and made a dash for the washroom. Plumbing just doesn't seem to be as patient as when I was younger. Just saying.

My wife is already in the kitchen. She is going to school today. She's an incredible registered massage therapist who thinks she should be able to do more for her clients/patients, so she started a three year course in acupuncture to enhance her ability to bring relief and remedy to them, while maintaining her clientele at two clinics. I love my wife.She is getting a pot of tea ready and a pot of coffee for me.

The radio is permanently set to Chez 106.1 in Ottawa, the closest city to us. Doc and Woody in the Morning has been part of our lives now for 13 years... not about to change. I walked over to the sink and had a peak outside. Nice day. It doesn't look windy, there isn't a cloud in the sky... going to be a great day to get things done.

Then the news comes on. Multiple dead in Vegas. Two attacks in Edmonton. Two dead in France. I skim through my twitter feed... I should have just turned off the radio and left the phone alone.... Violence in Spain. More information on shooting in Vegas. More information on Edmonton. So much violence and hatred. Calls for gun control. Calls for protests.

Change... everyone wants change. The more things change, the more they remain the same. Whatever happened to seeking STABILITY? You can't have stability if you are constantly fighting for change.

Sigh... I pour a cup of tea for my wife while she gets herself ready for school. I make a lunch for her. I'm in autopilot mode it seems. I am not thinking about what I am putting into her salad. I know its all good, but it's thoughtless. "Those poor poor people." That's all I can think of. I can't even speak to my wife I am so concussed. It doesn't really matter though because we are both NOT morning people, but I should be at least able to want to say something... all that I want to do is get rid of this feeling in the pit of my stomach - the feeling that I should just deal with it, deal with it not because it didn't directly affect me... but deal with it because it's only going to get worse. It always does... and if I can't deal with this morning's news, how will I deal with what's to come?

We sit at the table. Silent. She heard the news too and knows that I am boiling inside. I bag her lunch for her... I call the pack and we see my wife to car. I look out over fields behind our property. It's a beautiful day. The sun is warm and majestic to the East, there is an ever so gentle breeze... I see it... but it feels more like this today...