I need this as do many others. I had a terrible experience last night that almost caused me to ban Steemit in my household! Read this post please! https://steemit.com/steemit/@terminallyill/newcomers-are-you-tired-of-being-limited-in-growth-by-the-more-established-members-tires-of-not-being-able-to-grow-according-to
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I read what you wrote and I completely understand your feelings. I have had 2 downvotes and I successfully explained my situation to the first lady and she removed them realizing that I just made an honest mistake. The second one was recently and I am reaching out to ask why so that I don't make the same mistake.
As far as how you handle it in the future, obviously everyone has their own ways of dealing with problems. If it were me, I always try to do it be best way I know how and if I do my best, then I don't let anyone bother me. I wake up every day with this saying, be honest and be humble; and then I know I have nothing to fear or worry about.
Of course, everyone wants to be liked and get along, but sometimes people either misread something you said or they just don't like it. I have learned to move on and not let them bother me. Its like, "say your peace, and move on" slogan.
As far as how the system is structured, I also see your points. For me, I have had good interactions with the people at the top. But I can imagine if I got on the wrong side of them that it could be painful. So the way I look at it is to focus on the pond that I swim in and see how it all works out. I'm not going to engage in fighting anyone here big or small. Even if I see someone who does something wrong, then I either try to help him see how he could do it right, or if he won't listen, then I move on.
I once had a guy tell me (7 days into this) to remove my post about "trying to help newbies" from the introduceyourself tag or he would downvote the f'ck out of me until I left this place. I will never forget the name because what a rude and disgusting thing to say. I have always tried to help people both here and in my life. To tell a newbie that is 7 days in that he was going to run me out for using a wrong tag is deplorable. But I moved on. And to me he will get what he deserves in his own life. I am not the judge and frankly he is not worth my time.
So my suggestion to you is that you should decide if you like it here or not. Don't do it to be the person on the top. If you do the right things and always try your best, then I think you will have fun here and may actually make some money too. Yes, I wish the big players would give us a little more "positive" attention, but who am I to say what the grand plan is here anyway. I only have 30 days here worth of experience, and from what I've seen they have done a great job in putting together a platform that encourages others to work together. Maybe the person you are fighting with just had a bad day. Or maybe he is just a bad guy, I don't know. But I do know that you can control yourself and how you view it, and I hope that you can come here to find people like me that you enjoy and you find this place fun.
Sorry for the long reply, but I do understand what you are going though. And I hate to see you leave over this what will be a "small" incident in the future.
Cheers and stay in touch with me if you decide to stay. I think you are a hard-thinker which is a good thing (I am too)...
Well, I decided to stay, only to check my stuff and see that this one guy @spotlight and his friend @gktown are both going through here downvoting every single post i have, making it impossible to earn on my account. Things like this, are going to drive me and hundreds away from this platform. I do not know what to do, and nobody will help me. It pisses me off, because i have invested my own money into this, and got my daughter involved, and now she is heart broken......it's stupid, honestly. I have nowhere to go and no way to do anything about it.....
One I'm glad you decided to stay. Two if I get involved, I don't know if I could help. Three I will approach them and find out what they are upset about.
Many times though I find myself in this he said/she said situation. I'm sure they had a reason without knowing it, so if you would be willing to listen to what they had a problem with and agree to not do it, then I will approach them and see what I can do.
But I wouldn't want to jump in and have it be a "he said/she said situation"... If they feel you didn't something wrong, like blasting that message out and trying to "get them" back, would you be willing to admit you blew a gasket and apologize for that?
Again I am just trying to help if you want me to help. I don't think everyone has to be friends, but I think everyone should try to respect the others opinion and agree to disagree and move forward. And that would go both ways too.
So do you want me to try and see what I can do?
I've explained to him how he can best navigate this situation.
I've asked @terminallyill to stop reposting.
He's agreed to stop reposting.
I've agreed to stop downvoting.
If I see evidence that he is no longer reposting, I'll remove some flags.
If he keeps talking about how I should "know my place", maybe I'll leave them up.
Excellent @gktown that seems fair and I'm sure @terminallyill will abide by those rules and it is good that you will remove the flags.
@terminallyill, I hope you understand that there is no need to bring this issue up anymore. Just understand what @gktown's issue was, respect that it is valid and not personal to you, and just don't "re-post" again and he will remove some of the flags to get you going on the right foot again.
Sometimes things blow out in the moment, but if you just step back and realize he has one issue that he is asking you to respect (re-posting) then this is resolved. You can move forward and enjoy your time here again. Also one day you will see that it is such a small event considering the awesome opportunity you have in the future.
I hope you see it, get it out of your head and lets move forward in a positive manner!
Thanks to you both @gktown and @terminallyill...
see both my replies below and also @gktown. What he is asking for is reasonable, so let's move forward. I'm glad you brought it to my attention and I look forward to helping you make up for lost time ;)
This would be an acceptable thing, IF him and his friends would stop dropping in on my posts to say ignorant things that are not productive, initiating conflict, again, and then proceeding to start flagging everything, again. I literally posted once today, and it was original content, it wasnt reposted, stolen, anything. I did my part, i eventually ignored these guys, shit calmed down. I go out for a bit, i come back on, no doubt EVERY single post, original with 1 post or a duplicate post, ALL are flagged, and all three of these guys are talking shit and keeping it going. Seriously, me and several others agree they need to grow up. I followed the rules, if they would leave me the hell alone, there'd be no more issue. They create it, because they are childish.
Personally I want to move forward, but having these guys shame flag me just because they want to bully newcomers, is completely uncalled for. I'm done asking them to stop. If they refuse to, I'll have to take matters into different directions
Here is where you should stop. They have already said they will not only stop, but they will reverse some of the damage they did already. You got what you want, you can move forward in peace.
I would edit my comments (if I was in your position) to only reflect that you are happy to move forward in peace and LEAVE IT AT THAT. You do not have to mention what will happen otherwise, because they already agreed. This isn't a game where anyone likes conflict or drama. It is a place that people like me come to have fun.
I want you to be in my circle of friends and we can have fun together. But that won't happen if you try to battle them. Life isn't always fair and you can't force your will on anyone else. So why bother to issue veiled threats? I suggest you just edit your replies to something like this:
"I'm glad it got worked out. I won't re-post anything again. And I accept that this matter is closed and they will remove some of my flags. I want to have fun here at steemit and we can all go forward peacefully"
If you say that then you are not "giving in" or "backing down"... You are simply acknowledging what bothered them as they have already agreed to fix what bothered you.
Its over if you want it to be. And I can't help you any more than this if you keep going. The problem is resolved, but you have to do your part which is to simply move forward.
(do you really think this will matter in 5 years? Put it in perspective and let's have some fun)
Calm, diplomatic advice, my bro. I logged on today to see your Steem number at 15. I was shocked. I don't know you, but you appear to be an articulate, decent bloke. Mistakes have been made. Things have got out of hand. It appears you are very, very frustrated. I replied on one of your earlier posts my disbelief. Baby steps backwards from all out war is beneficial to both parties.
In time hopefully a compromise will be beneficial to both parties. We can continue reading your muses, they can have a very worthwhile contributor to the community.
I dunno. I'm.new to this too. I don't know about this resteem stuff. Probably why I get like 5c per post and thats from mates. Ha ha. But yeh. Hopefully, your number can be put back up to where it should be and this whole sorry episode can be resolved.
Good on you though. You're a good bloke.
thank you very much for taking the time to write that and I agree with you about de-escalating things. You are a good bloke too :)