Blow-Drying Squirrels

When I was 12, I caught a baby squirrel.
I immediately bathed it, and attempted to blow-dry it.

Baby squirrels don't like hair dryers.

They really, really, don't like them.

I planned on keeping it as a secret pet, but evidently, my closet was not a good hiding place for it. My mom found it, and released it into the wild, otherwise known as the backyard.

The following year, a squirrel with two babies close behind her, paraded herself up the steps of our front-porch, and turned to face me. I immediately knew it was the squirrel I had caught the year before.

I sat there, stunned, as the squirrel chattered at me, then promptly turned and marched off.

For many years, I thought it was so cute that little squirrel had come back to show her babies off to me. It was only recently that I realized she wasn't showing her babies off to me.

She was warning them.

Did I mention that squirrels don't like being blow-dried?

These days when I encounter a squirrel, they typically stop in their tracks, stare at me, then turn and run up the nearest tree.

I casually walk past and say, "I see you've heard about me."