New Beginnings

# new year same old shit

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So, 2017. trying back honestly sucks and i am extremely undecided why i am doing this. many days past i used to be feeling down and determined to jot down in my journal all the items i used to be glad for in my life. Of course, there was undoubtedly a listing of things i'm glad for and that i try and cue myself of that each day. Then I ought to the top, though, and since i am clearly smitten by cliches I had to jot down that i am glad for my "friends". I started assured like alright, alright, I simply enjoyed time with my 2 friends from my previous job, super glad for them. I saw my ex-boyfriend/friend/idk yesterday, things were smart, he is still my friend although i am pretty damn crazy.. okay, there is 3. My alternative 2 shut friends from my previous job... i have not talked to them in months however we tend to were pretty shut earlier within the summer, so that they count I guess? Then... ummm... will my dog count? associate degree activity that was speculated to get Maine out of my slump pushed Maine thus far|to date|to this point} down in it that there was no manner in hell i used to be obtaining out now.

That doesn't even begin to elucidate however stinky this year has been. For starters, I lost concerning all my friends and created concerning none this year. Not that I had several to start with, however I lost my literal ally, the one person I told everything to and did everything with (well-- "everything", hah. rather a part of there reason we tend to are not friends anymore). I spent virtually (and by virtually I mean truly literally) the full year stuck during a love/attachment craziness over my ex (yes, the ex-boyfriend/friend/idk) United Nations agency was (is?) gaga with another lady. He essentially fucked with my feelings all year as a result of he knew I preferred him and he or she did not. it absolutely was virtually half-ass shit and i might fall for it each single time as a result of I preferred him (or whatever). after you inspect ladies that ar clearly being stupid and you are like "wow, however will she be thus stupid... if that was Maine i might drop his ass during a instant..." well, yeah, i feel the one factor this last year has extremely schooled Maine is to ne'er, ever say shit like that concerning anyone once more. Honestly, fuck, once you are in there... once you are extremely in this deep... you quite simply have to be compelled to get the hell far from that person and something and everything that reminds you of them. I mean move the fuck away, throw away something that reminds you of them, delete all the images, undoubtedly do not discuss with them once more, cut virtually all ties with them, delete all of your damn social media cause notwithstanding you block them there ar forever friends and friends of friends and suddenly they're going to show up somewhere on one amongst your feeds (and by show up I mean you will go stalk the fuck out of everybody till you discover some trace of one thing associated with them). And damn, let Maine tell you, it takes some serious next level strength to be ready to do all that, particularly once they are fitting that half-ass effort, and therefore the very little over half-ass effort once it's convenient for them.

life

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So yeah. i do not even wanna write this any longer. Long story short, 2017 sucked thus fucking abundant. it absolutely was a part of 2016 too, to be honest. Nothing modified and if i am being fully honest (I assume I've same honest concerning twelve times), i do not assume 2018 is suddenly gonna be any totally different. i actually tried, concerning as arduous as I had in Maine, and that i somehow concluded up back wherever I started. i assume I will say one factor tho', I cried a bit but I typically try this time i used to be home. that is concerning the maximum amount of a compliment as I will offer 2017.