Enough With Your Smelly Sound-proofing and Tall Gerbils
Dear Mr Davis,
I have always felt proud living near to you. You are the most lonely neighbour a person could ever meet.
Therefore, you must understand how difficult it has been for me to approach you with this matter.
I'm afraid I can no longer stand your untidy hedge.
I lay in bed last night, trying to sleep, and all I could think about was how your sound-proofing is too smelly and your gerbils way too tall. I had a nightmare that you burst in through the window brandishing a hedge trimmer
I have to insist that you take action to stop your untidy hedge from upsetting me. I demand that you sell the dog then rehome to dog.
And while we're on the matter, I'm finding your smelly gerbils increasingly inexcusable. This is not the kind of behaviour I expect from somebody living in a happy neighbourhood like Rose Close.
If you don't rectify the situation I shall have no choice but to call the council and post photos of your untidy hedge on Goodreads.
Furthermore, I have close ties with gangsters and I won't be be afraid to cash in a few favours if you don't comply with my demands.
Thanks
a-poetry-fanatic