DISTANCE...! That was the issue that tore my 7 years relationship apart. I was staying in the same city with my girl before I was transfered by my company to the head office ,(9hours journey by Bus). She also got admission into tertiary institution and since then,we occasionally meet. I made sure I call her always, I send her money and made sure she didn't lack anything. I also visit her anytime I'm less busy at work but all these worked only for some time.
I began to notice changes in her. She was caring and loving but her sudden changes gave me huge concern. I asked her what was going on but she kept saying nothing. She knew the kind of person I am. I don't take things too seriously especially when I know that force won't work wonders. I kept enduring her attitude. She picks my calls when she likes. I didn't still pick quarrel with her because I already knew what could be fishing. I patiently dealt with her until she open up one day. She called me and said she was sorry.
"Please ckole, I can't pretend anymore. I'm hurting you so much and I won't like to continue this way. The reason I've been acting strange is because I'm already dating another person. I want someone close to me. I don't like the distance and I can't cope any more. I'm sorry".
I tried to convince her but all to no avail. I loved her so much. I felt empty when she left me. She told me I'm not always there when she needs my presence. Though I call daily and cater for her needs, she cherish the physical union. Talking on air isn't enough. She wanted to be true but she couldn't hold on. She's a reserved young lady. I couldn't blame her, I just learnt a lesson.
My next relationship didn't suffer just 2 kilometers distance. I never gave it a chance and it worked out fine.
Distance in a relationship is not what should be encouraged. Companionship really matters. The more you get together, the more you build the relationship. There are temptations every where. our spouse goes through series of it from attractors. We are not the only one that wants them, there are others out there that cherish them just as we do. Keeping away too far can cause the unexpected to happen.
Even a lot of Marriages has broken just because of this eight letter words "DISTANCE". Everyone has his or her manner of approaching things but all the same, If distance can be avoided, its better to stay clear of it and enjoy life with your partner.
Always communicate. Communication is one of the most important things in any relation, especially between lovers. Communication is the thing that takes away doubts, incertainties, grieves and annoyances. Communication is also the thing that tells the other you love your partner, that you care about your partner and that you want to be with your partner.
Communication and respect need to go hand in hand. Otherwise, communication can become a weapon.
So respect is the other part of the foundation to build a relationship upon.Always respect your partner, always treat your partner with the utmost respect. A relationship where one of both partners doesn't feel respected, is bound to fail.
Respect means, treating your partner with respect. Respect in a relationship means, also treat yourself with respect, and make sure your partner treats you with respect. A relationship where you respect your partner, but your partner totally disrespects you is an unhealthy relationship.
In my previous relationship, I was totally disrespected, in many ways (the woman still disrespects me). And, there was no way of communicating on a normal level, so at one point in time, I had to stand up and demand respect for myself. That's when the relationship ended, on the first occurence of me not blindly following and pleasing her demands.
Infidelity. I was with a man who looks at everything on skirt. At first when we met he was charming and adorable and he made me laugh so much I fell in love with him. Through the years while we were together I discovered he was in the habit of cheating and lying. Once I saw different pictures of naked women on his phone, other times his conversations with them. He was such a good liar but not good at covering his tracts.
I knew he was cheating but I never got the strength to leave him. I loved him so much. I felt I have invested time, money and energy and shouldn't let another woman come in and reap where she didn't sow. I saw myself as the rightful owner of the vineyard even though it was producing unhealthy fruits and soured juice, I believed he would change, of cos he kept promising to change. Once he got a lady pregnant and promised to fix it by getting her to terminate it.
Although I never supported that but I felt maybe this time he would change for real not until another pregnant woman came to fight me in his house. At this time I knew that I was never gonna have peace of mind if I eventually marry him and i was going to because he had proposed some weeks back so it was a shock finding out he is still cheating even with marriage plans on the way.
I had to take the easy way out which was a break up and turns deaf ear to all his please. Infidelity is bad and it destroys relationships. Do not look at how much time or money or effort you have put in, if a man or woman cares enough to cheat on you, they will never respect you. Besides walk away and save yourself before you get infected by the serial cheat. It's heart breaking and hurts real bad but your mental and physical health is worth more than one person who can't control his or her libido.
DISTANCE...! That was the issue that tore my 7 years relationship apart. I was staying in the same city with my girl before I was transfered by my company to the head office ,(9hours journey by Bus). She also got admission into tertiary institution and since then,we occasionally meet. I made sure I call her always, I send her money and made sure she didn't lack anything. I also visit her anytime I'm less busy at work but all these worked only for some time.
I began to notice changes in her. She was caring and loving but her sudden changes gave me huge concern. I asked her what was going on but she kept saying nothing. She knew the kind of person I am. I don't take things too seriously especially when I know that force won't work wonders. I kept enduring her attitude. She picks my calls when she likes. I didn't still pick quarrel with her because I already knew what could be fishing. I patiently dealt with her until she open up one day. She called me and said she was sorry.
"Please ckole, I can't pretend anymore. I'm hurting you so much and I won't like to continue this way. The reason I've been acting strange is because I'm already dating another person. I want someone close to me. I don't like the distance and I can't cope any more. I'm sorry".
I tried to convince her but all to no avail. I loved her so much. I felt empty when she left me. She told me I'm not always there when she needs my presence. Though I call daily and cater for her needs, she cherish the physical union. Talking on air isn't enough. She wanted to be true but she couldn't hold on. She's a reserved young lady. I couldn't blame her, I just learnt a lesson.
My next relationship didn't suffer just 2 kilometers distance. I never gave it a chance and it worked out fine.
Distance in a relationship is not what should be encouraged. Companionship really matters. The more you get together, the more you build the relationship. There are temptations every where. our spouse goes through series of it from attractors. We are not the only one that wants them, there are others out there that cherish them just as we do. Keeping away too far can cause the unexpected to happen.
Even a lot of Marriages has broken just because of this eight letter words "DISTANCE". Everyone has his or her manner of approaching things but all the same, If distance can be avoided, its better to stay clear of it and enjoy life with your partner.
Thanks.
A total lack of Communication and respect.
Always communicate. Communication is one of the most important things in any relation, especially between lovers. Communication is the thing that takes away doubts, incertainties, grieves and annoyances. Communication is also the thing that tells the other you love your partner, that you care about your partner and that you want to be with your partner.
Communication and respect need to go hand in hand. Otherwise, communication can become a weapon.
So respect is the other part of the foundation to build a relationship upon.Always respect your partner, always treat your partner with the utmost respect. A relationship where one of both partners doesn't feel respected, is bound to fail.
Respect means, treating your partner with respect. Respect in a relationship means, also treat yourself with respect, and make sure your partner treats you with respect. A relationship where you respect your partner, but your partner totally disrespects you is an unhealthy relationship.
In my previous relationship, I was totally disrespected, in many ways (the woman still disrespects me). And, there was no way of communicating on a normal level, so at one point in time, I had to stand up and demand respect for myself. That's when the relationship ended, on the first occurence of me not blindly following and pleasing her demands.
Infidelity. I was with a man who looks at everything on skirt. At first when we met he was charming and adorable and he made me laugh so much I fell in love with him. Through the years while we were together I discovered he was in the habit of cheating and lying. Once I saw different pictures of naked women on his phone, other times his conversations with them. He was such a good liar but not good at covering his tracts.
I knew he was cheating but I never got the strength to leave him. I loved him so much. I felt I have invested time, money and energy and shouldn't let another woman come in and reap where she didn't sow. I saw myself as the rightful owner of the vineyard even though it was producing unhealthy fruits and soured juice, I believed he would change, of cos he kept promising to change. Once he got a lady pregnant and promised to fix it by getting her to terminate it.
Although I never supported that but I felt maybe this time he would change for real not until another pregnant woman came to fight me in his house. At this time I knew that I was never gonna have peace of mind if I eventually marry him and i was going to because he had proposed some weeks back so it was a shock finding out he is still cheating even with marriage plans on the way.
I had to take the easy way out which was a break up and turns deaf ear to all his please. Infidelity is bad and it destroys relationships. Do not look at how much time or money or effort you have put in, if a man or woman cares enough to cheat on you, they will never respect you. Besides walk away and save yourself before you get infected by the serial cheat. It's heart breaking and hurts real bad but your mental and physical health is worth more than one person who can't control his or her libido.