Paranoia is anxiety's best friend. I've always been an anxious and introverted person since I was young. Engaging in social situations has always been a challenging task for me. I find it very hard to express my inner self until I found music.
I'm very grateful that I found music in my existence. Songwriting helped me so much to express myself in the most colorful ways. It made me embrace my paranoia and turn it into something beautiful and surreal. It gave me the realization that It's not always about letting go of our imperfections, sometimes we just have to accept and learn to be the greatest version of our true self.
Some of you might be wondering what I'm so paranoid about. Well, I think it all boils down to my own perception and how I view the world. We must admit that the world is a cruel place. I was forced to accept that fact when I was still an innocent child. Society has always been unfair to a lot of souls and everyone sees it differently. What's unacceptable to me could be perfectly fine for others, and I believe that it's because of culture.
Every culture has its own way of life, behavior, and beliefs. It somehow divides us but I don't actually see it as a negative thing. It's just a matter of acceptance. It has to be treated with respect. In the country that I live in, the culture is not really that distinct and well-defined. We acquired a lot of attributes from the western culture. Some people believe that It sucks the originality out of every individual in the country but I can't agree completely. This kind of mentality kind of gave me a confusion as I grew up. Though it motivated me to be more independent and rely on my own intuition, which helped me to accept and forgive so I'm still thankful. Each one of us is unique in its own exquisite way and any social norms are not enough to define it.
I can say that my past was not really that fun and 'normal' as others would see it. I grew up in a broken family and that really made me depressed as I turned into a teenager. It still sends shivers down my spine every time I remember my past negative experiences and that probably caused most of the paranoia that I'm having now. But I'm still glad that I have the awareness to figure out these suppressed emotions. It's the kind of awareness that prevents me from being swallowed by negativity.
I believe that having the proper awareness towards our surroundings is crucial to develop acceptance. It helps us to conceptualize our reality and develop our inner peace. It impacts the way we react to things.
Besides that, it taught me to embrace the way things are and just live in the NOW. The present is the only thing that matters and no matter how painful our past is, it shouldn't hold us back. The past is merely an illusion. It would be better to appreciate every moment that comes in our way and make something good out of it.
My music helped me so much to keep track of these beautiful moments. It alleviates my paranoia every time I cherish it because It reminds me the true essence of life. The world may be unfair, but we are always free to express ourselves in a lot of ways. Our souls are boundless and infinite. Life is one big wonderful experience.
I hope this will reach the souls out there that are also going through uncertainty. I'm very glad to come across this site where I can share my art and life experiences.
This is actually my first post so this will also serve as my introduction. I just turned 20 last month and I'm a full-time musician.
I'm not that of a biggie. I only earn once in a while but it won't stop me from focusing on my art. It drives me to live my life to the fullest. :)
I'm the frontman of a band named 'Sapo Frog'. I'll be posting some of our music soon.