I've spent the last twenty frickin' years of my life "finding myself", "finding my passion", "finding a career and vocation". And driving into Olympia a few nights ago to come spend time with my daughter, Aerosmith's "Dream On" came on the radio.
Cranked it. Sang my heart out. Wept for my heart's unsung songs.
I know who I am. I'm a f***ing MUSICIAN, and I KNEW IT TWENTY YEARS AGO ALREADY.
In my teens, I was in multiple bands. My first investment out of high school, saved up for in the turkey factory ripping out guts and getting blood and feces in my face, was a $4,600 Korg Triton workstation keyboard. My first credit card purchase ever was an acoustic guitar. I was practicing Grade 10 Conservatory piano when I quit taking lessons. I solo'd on trombone with our jazz band, winning Gold at the Canadian Nationals.
I am a musician.
That's not all that I am. I'm also deeply a teacher, a writer, a snowboarder, a philosopher, a lover, and more - and what is #1 for me is being a father. But when I hear music that resonates with me, that moves me, I feel my greatest creative expression bound up inside me, unexpressed, like a stone in my heart, like a scream that would break down walls.
This I will change. It may take years, but this will change. The world will hear my music, sooner or later. I will get to hear my own music, sooner or later. And I have a lot to sing about.
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