Do you want to write songs that people can "relate to?"
I don't.
Writing from a mindset of being relatable is the best way to make a horrible song that no one wants to listen to. It is far better to establish a connection with your listener.
When a writer aims to compose song lyrics that he or she believes other people will relate to, that composition becomes empty. This mindset leads to lyrics such as:
I hear songs on the radio that make me cringe. The lyricist is obviously clawing for my attention. My attention is desired so strongly that the writer betrays his or her own unique perspective in a desperate gambit to write something he or she thinks I might relate to.
This is a lie. This is transparent. It is untruthful, and it causes me to shut down as a listener.
When one tries to write lyrics people can relate to, one is being fundamentally untruthful.
When one tells their truth, even when they fear that their truth may not be received well by listeners, they establish connection.
When I first heard Stevie Nicks sing "Landslide" I almost stopped my car to give my full attention to the song, even though I am not a middle-aged woman.
When I first heard Eminem rap "Cleaning Out My Closet" I was speechless.
Let me be clear - there is absolutely nothing I can relate to with Eminem.
Yet, when I listen to his rap I feel a connection with this human so strong that I feel he is confiding in me. He is telling his truth bravely, allowing himself to be vulnerable in the face of grand criticism. He raps about his poor relationship with his parents and how he plans to protect his daughter from the pain that his own parents put him through. Most people will not ever relate to Eminem's extreme past, but I sure do respect a human being going through the human condition in a difficult way.
And I don't know if no one knows it
So before they thrown me inside my coffin and close it
I'ma expose it, I'll take you back to '73
Before I ever had a multi-platinum selling CD
I was a baby, maybe I was just a couple of months
My faggot father must have had his panties up in a bunch
'Cause he split, I wonder if he even kissed me goodbye
No I don't. On second thought I just fucking wished he would die
I look at Hailie, and I couldn't picture leaving her side
Even if I hated Kim, I grit my teeth and I'd try
To make it work with her at least for Hailie's sake
I maybe made some mistakes
But I'm only human, but I'm man enough to face them today
What I did was stupid, no doubt it was dumb
But the smartest shit I did was take the bullets outta that gun
'Cause I'da killed him, shit I would've shot Kim and him both
It's my life, I'd like to welcome y'all to "The Eminem Show"
The words we choose are powerful. We construct, interpret, and guide our experience with the words we choose to apply to that experience.
If you want to write songs that feel like a an elephant trying to fit through a doggy-door, try being relatable.
If you want to write songs that mean something, that say something, establish a connection by speaking your truth.
I can't speak for everyone, but It's the only way I will want to listen to you.
Excellent post, thanks for taking the time to write it!
I was actually just going to make my first ever Steemit post about "human scale" in music - the idea that as (essentially) a story telling medium, a song tends towards an effectiveness of sorts when it contains a very real, and very human message.
I was thinking about what that practically means, and I landed on the same analogy you used in your third last paragraph: "an elephant trying to fit through a doggy door". In architecture, a building is said to have a good sense of human scale if it is well sized and suited to the activity that people will be using it for. I tend to think the same for music. As there is no music that is not listened to by people, does it not make sense that we should aim for "human scale" in our compositions?
Writing music for people to relate to is like building a house with a 40' high, 15' wide front door. Just because more people fit through, doesn't mean that it's fit for purpose....or indeed, of any endearing quality.
Thanks again!!
Cool stuff @earthhermit! I look forward to reading your fully drafted post about human scale in music. The various purposes for which we listen to music is a fascinating topic on its own. We listen at social gatherings, restaurants, weddings, graduations, family reunions.
We listen on the bus, in a car, cleaning the house.
We listen at a venue surrounded by strangers. We listen in the bedroom with our significant others. We listen to zone out and to tune in. Everyone has their favorite music for their own situations.
I can't agree more.
This is precisely why I've always related to Robert Smith's lyrics of the Cure; to Steven Wilson of Porcupine Tree and so many more projects; to Mariusz Duda of Riverside and Lunatic Soul.
Tell me the freaking truth. Anything less is dishonest.
This is what I do in my own songwriting as well, which quite frankly, is why so many of my songs have thus far never been shared publicly.
It's damned uncomfortable laying yourself bare.
It absolutely is @crescendoofpeace. Yet, I think that vulnerability is what causes fans to fall in love. It's a fine line, though. Some "therapy" songs are never meant to be shared, and every now and then I hear a musician's therapy song and I wished they had kept it to themselves... but some of those end up being the very best. If it was easy, we'd all have hits.
I commend you for writing what is real to you.
I totally agree. Being real is attractive to us all.
But that doesn't mean it's easy.
just awesome writing. In short you explained it so well. Following you.
I appreciate the encouragement @rifkan, it is my pleasure to contribute to the community
@originalworks