Terrible Magic Tuesday - 1/30/18

Hello everyone and welcome to the second entry of Terrible Magic Tuesday, where we dive into some of the worst cards in MTG history to make us feel better about our deckbuilding!

Let's get started!

JUJU BUBBLE

Wow. Where do we start on this hunk of garbage? It has a cumulative upkeep, which means we are going to have to keep paying more and more to keep it out, and thus will have fewer resources to pay for that precious 1 life gain at 2 colorless mana (what a steal!).

But the kicker, the absolute best part of this card, is that any time you play ANYTHING else you have to bury it. So once it's out, its JUJU bubble or bust baby!

But seriously, I have no idea why anyone would want to play this bubble. It's laughably horrendous, and rightfully deserves a spot on this list.

RAZOR BOOMERANG

I LOVE this card. It's so freaking bad I can't help but love it. Would I ever play it? Hell no. Do I own a foil for shits and giggles? But of course!

This may be the worst equipment ever printed, if for any reason just because WOTC had the gall to put it in as an UNCOMMON. It costs a total of five mana, AND a tap trigger to deal a whopping one point of damage, and get this, you have to return it to your hand afterwards! That means you have to pay to pay all that mana AGAIN if you want to deal another point of damage.

Where is the value in this? Who in their right minds is playing this? If you are I'd like to know, and I'd really like to know why!

ZEPHYR SPIRIT

Pretty straightforward and terrible. A 0/6 for 6, notably without flying or reach, that returns to your hand after it does it's one and only job of chump blocking? No thank you. This card accomplishes nothing that other cards can't do, and is insanely expensive at 6 mana.

Please don't run it.

GRID MONITOR

I came across this card while going through an old pile of rares and just had to include it.

First of all, why is this a rare? Secondly, If you really need a 4/6 body, or something around those numbers, is there truly NOTHING else you can play that doesn't completely restrict your ability to play half your deck? Any vanilla creature with a big body is better than this, and I truly can see no point of playing this card, barring an inclusion in a possible Zedruu the Greathearted EDH deck.

And that's it for this week in terrible magic cards! What did you think of the inclusions? Too harsh? Not harsh enough? Let me know, and be sure to follow for more future posts!