A Definitive Ranking of Every Star Wars Movie

      Star Wars is by far the biggest, most renowned film franchise of all time, and the golden standard for the Sci-Fi genre. These aren't by any means my favorite movies in the world, however it's simply undeniable that this galaxy far far away that George Lucas dreamed up is one of the most vibrant, living, breathing worlds to ever grace the big screen. He created three undeniably classic movies, which are ingrained into pop culture like no other franchise which came before or after it. Then he made the prequels... Now I actually grew up with the prequels, and they were my first Star Wars movies. So as a result I have a slightly different perspective on those films, and I'm sure half of the fan base will crucify me for this list, but without further ado... Here is a definitive ranking of every Star Wars film (Not including The Last Jedi as of now, I need to sit with it for a couple of weeks before I can do that). As always I speak only in facts, no opinions anywhere to be seen.

#8. Episode 2 - Attack of the Clones: I don't even know what to say about this movie.... wait yes I do..... WHAT IN THE HELL WAS GEORGE LUCAS THINKING???? There were an abundance of questionable creative decisions littered throughout the prequels, with the most glaring of examples being this entire film. Hayden Christensen as teenage Anakin is one of the worst performances I have ever seen, The action scenes were all largely forgettable CGI cartoons, and somehow this film makes you genuinely despise the Jedi council for being so worthless. The only glimmer of hope throughout is Ewan Mcgregor as Obi Wan. I actually think his fight scene with Jango Fett is top notch, but they even soured that moment with the horrendous casting of young Boba Fett. This is the only Star Wars movie I genuinely dislike, and I skip it every time I watch the series.

I killed them! I killed them all! They're dead, every single one of them! And not just the men, but the women and the children, too! They're like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals!!!!! I HATE THEM!!!!!! 

Anyone who can make it through that scene with a straight face seriously deserves a gold medal.

#7. Rogue One - A Star Wars Story: Now I don't think this is a bad movie by any means, and I would never argue with someone who says it's better than a lot of the movies I'm ranking above it. But I don't know... something about it just didn't connect with me. K-2SO was great, and I really liked Chirrut. Everything else though? It just bored me, plain and simple. Jyn was a dry protagonist who I felt nearly nothing for, and I honestly don't even remember much else about the rest of the characters, and I've seen this movie 3 times! One good thing I can say is that I really appreciated the tone they were going for. It differed from anything else the series had previously done, but it just felt unnecessary, and I feel as if it almost cheapened the Star Wars brand as a whole. The scenes with Darth Vader were incredible, but they only served to remind me that I'd much rather be watching a different Star Wars story than this one.. They overused the CGI Tarkin too, which like everyone else, I took issue with. One thing which really bothered me was that there were no stakes, because we knew exactly what was going to happen. Above all though, I just don't think the plot was strong enough to warrant this movie being made.

#6. Episode 4 - A New Hope: I can already see everyone spamming the down vote button, but just hear me out. A New Hope was a groundbreaking film and an incredible peace of art for its time. I just think that in the context of the rest of the series as a whole, it falls a bit short. It started everything, and for that it deserves its respect, but it has some issues. The lightsaber battle at the end was exceptionally dull, and Obi Wan... He just... Vanished into thin air? The storyline is a bit generic and Luke wasn't all that interesting of a character until episode 5. I just got overall less enjoyment out of this film than most of the other titles, despite some of them having glaring issues. Maybe I just can't appreciate the gravity of its cultural impact because I wasn't alive at the time, but compared to The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi... it just doesn't hold it's own. It did have some great stuff though. Any moment with C-3PO and R2-D2 was golden, the death star assault was incredible (especially considering when this movie was made), Han and Leia were too, and Darth Vader was... present. It's no surprise that George Lucas expected this movie to bomb. It's a good movie overall, but it doesn't have the "it" factor that what came after it nailed so perfectly.

#5. Episode 1 - The Phantom Menace: Ok, I'll acknowledge that nostalgia is clouding my view just a bit here. But I do think that this movie gets far too much flack. It has a lot of problems, but the fact that this was the first Star Wars movie in decades led to it being judged unfairly. The plot wasn't all that interesting, some performances leave something to be desired, and Jar Jar is a stain on planet earth to anyone over the age of 14 years old. (To a kid though? Jar Jar was the shit, and I'm not afraid to admit it.) The CGI was so awful that I don't know how the studio even cleared this movie for release, but as a kid I didn't even notice. However everyone agrees that the pod racing sequence was great, and the Darth Maul fight at the end is one of the best in the series. Should they have included the infamous Midi-chlorians? Probably not. Should they have come up with a more interesting plot than trade disputes? Yeah definitely. I just think that this movie executed one thing really well. It has that classic Star Wars feel, and it showcases the universe excellently. When watching The Phantom Menace, it just screams Star Wars. Which I love.

#4. Episode 7 - The Force Awakens: I just love how this movie was universally acclaimed when it was released, and now it seems as if half the fan base hates it. It remedied virtually every single issue the prequels were panned for, but that wasn't enough?

"Oh we want a Star Wars movie like the originals again, screw these prequels man" 

*The Force Awakens hits theaters* 

"It was too much like A New Hope, so unoriginal." 

People are just never going to be satisfied, which is a shame. For me personally I enjoyed it, but it's not a favorite of mine. I didn't find Kylo Ren particularly menacing as a villain, I don't think anyone really did, but admittedly that wasn't Disney's intention. And sure I guess we didn't really need another "death star" but that didn't bother me. My only real issue with this installment is that every time I watch a Star Wars movie (Even Rogue One to a certain extent), I feel a sense of wonder and awe at the marvelous universe these movies exist in, but this film felt removed from that. Despite the familiar faces it just lacked what I love the most about these movies. Aside from that though, I thought nearly everything else about it was great.

RIP Han Solo

#3. Episode 6 - Return of the Jedi: This was actually my favorite Star Wars movie for quite some time, and it wasn't until I re watched the saga in 2015 before TFW came out that I reevaluated my opinion on it. I came to the conclusion that while I love this movie, there were certain things I could have done without. Most people will agree with me when I say that they didn't need to spend so much time with the ewoks. They were really neat at first, but just overstayed their welcome. Although it did lead to one of my favorite moments in the series. C3PO the god. I also think that they overused The Emperor to a certain degree. I'll compare it to a horror movie, when the main source of thrills is shrouded in mystery and only used sparingly, it's a much more menacing threat. However In the final act once it grows into a more tangible threat, a lot of the scare factor depletes. When he was the mysteriously shrouded figure that even Darth Vader was subservient to, he seemed like a larger than life threat which Luke and co. could never touch. Then once Return of the Jedi came along he was reduced to just another sith lord in my eyes. I seem to be in the minority on this one though, and it's a very minor gripe at best. But for me personally that brings Return of the Jedi down to the #3 spot. 

EDIT: Jesus does this movie have an awesome intro though, tied for my favorite in the series.

#2. Episode 5 - The Empire Strikes Back: I'm sure that all the die hard fans reading this will find my placement of this film very blasphemous. Just the fact that it isn't number one, not to mention what's coming next is enough to piss a lot of people off. Don't freak out too much though, because I consider this a near perfect movie. The AT-AT's, Luke's character development, Han Solo at his best, Lando effing Calrissian!, the best final lightsaber battle in the whole franchise. This movie just hit all the right notes, and of course I can't forget the most infamous plot twist in all of cinematic history.... 

"No, I am your father."

Lucas struck cinematic gold with this one, and it's stood the test of time like no other film in the franchise.

#1. Episode 3 - Revenge of the Sith: This movie... Episode 3 is easily the installment which I've gotten the most enjoyment out of over the years since I first saw it in theaters. It's widely considered the best of the prequel  trilogy, although admittedly many still don't care for it. For me personally they fixed almost every issue that Episode 1 and 2 suffered from, and put together the most compelling story in the entire franchise. Despite the fact that it wasn't executed as well as it could've been. The CGI is leaps and bounds better, Obi Wan is at the peak of his power and charisma, the fights were astronomically improved over the two movies which preceded it, and the environments (while still too heavily reliant on CGI) were far more interesting than those present in The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones. 

It does still have some problems though, which is unfortunate. The most obvious one being the piss poor pacing towards the end. There was enough content for two movies, easily. Yet it was compressed into one film, which led to the ending feeling very rushed. On top of that some of the acting still wasn't great, although it was definitely a drastic improvement. Hayden Christensen in particular was a lot better, yet was still painfully stiff and dry at times. Although he looked menacing as all hell at the end. A fight or two could have been done better (namely Palpatine killing the jedi), and for gods sake why in the hell were all the clone troopers 100% CGI? Like I said, it's not a perfect movie by any means, but it's my personal favorite. So for that reason, Revenge of the Sith gets the number 1 spot.