The Pain Of Not Saying Goodbye

"A love with no limits A warmth with no light So you lie there — cold and lifeless And yet you still warm my heart" -Am Ende Stehen Wir Zwei, Lacrimosa

I cannot believe that I am playing Elodia by Lacrimosa today. The last time I listened to this album was when my father left us two (2) years ago. I can still remember those dreadful days full of agony. My father's passing may not be sudden but it still hit me hard. My mind was clouded with different thoughts and emotions and my heart- I thought being broken was an exaggeration, but that moment when I read my brother's message, heart-broken was an understatement. I couldn't breath and weep and I realized that no matter how much you prepare yourself you can never accept the passing of the person you love- not even time can heal the wounds it caused.

My heart is in pain and heavy for a very dear person to me left us and decided to join our Father in Heaven today. The weather has been gloomy since yesterday it suddenly decided to join our heavy and sorrowful hearts. Ma'am Aida- our mentor, friend and almost a mother to us, you left us with heavy hearts full of regrets for our time spent since your retirement are less than the number of our fingers combined. The news of you passing was so sudden that we were not able to prepare our selves but to accept the fact that we cannot be with you in this lifetime again- we are all heartbroken Ma'am. But I guess no one will ever be prepared when the time of death comes. If only I was able to say my last farewell to you Ma'am, but how can I even say it? The Heaven must've know that eventually there will be no words to utter, for how can we say goodbye to someone we are not yet ready to let go.

We are all heartbroken. The people who worked with you and consider you as family- all of us are in deep sorrow and no words can make us fell better now. And the excruciating pain of not saying goodbye made me speechless- I was out of words and still shock of the news. Last February we celebrated your birthday. You were so happy because you can finally out from your house due to this Pandemic's restrictions. And I was more than ecstatic for you never forget about me- to have let me join your intimate celebration with Sir Dex and Imee. I cannot thank you enough for you are one of the few people who trusted and believe in me.You are one of the few people whom I will forever respect and value. Even after this, I will keep on talking of how wonderful of a person you are- despite you being the "Original Maldita" here in CNU, but the goodness in you will always prevail. You finally rested Ma'am, in your next life I pray that you will stay being you- the strict and loving Maam Aida that we all know. Rest your Soul and be at Peace Ma'am, we will keep your legacy with us and will make sure that your name will never be forgotten.

Today, we mourn because we lost someone with a beautiful Soul. It may take us time to heal and with heavy heart we will concede with the "unknown". Just like the flowers bloom on a fine Spring Day and will soon withered on a hot Summer Day-one must accept and learn to concede with time. For all that we have are like Seasons- they will come and go, but the memories of them will remain and those memories will accompany us wherever we may go.

For those who have lost someone they love- family and friends, I join your sorrow and may the departed Soul of your loved ones be in Peace.

--gracie
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