Judge Less, But Love More

In life, I have come to realise that a lot of what you judge people for, you would have done the same thing or even worse if you are in their shoes. You have to understand that people are not perfect, so you should neither expect perfection from them nor be quick to judge them for their perceived wrong actions. Just to let you know, even a good intention, if implemented in a wrong manner, could appear as a wrong action. Before you judge people, try to look beyond the action which you want to judge them for, and look at the intentions. Trust me, many of the people you are judging might even have a better humanity than you. So judge less.

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What should drive you more is love and not judgement. I remember one scenario that played out many years ago when I was in a particular group during my undergraduate days in the University. There was this particular lady who was always criticizing and judging any thing that the group leader does. In fact, whatever he does was always perceived by her as the wrong decision. She would always want everything to be done her way. She was the assistant group leader but she wanted to be the centre of attraction. She would even openly challenge the decisions of the leader and always talked about incompetence.

Well, after the tenure of the leader was over, the mantle of leadership fell on her as she was appointed the group leader. Ironically, everything she judged the past leader for, she was doing the same thing but in a worse way. Her leadership was full of chaos and many wrongdoings. In fact, a lot of people left the group because of her. Sadly, she was quick to judge someone else but she could not even deliver when it got to her own turn. After just a very short time of her leadership, a "vote of no confidence" was cast on her by the executive committee and she was relieved of her leadership. She judged more but delivered less.

What you should understand is that your strength is not to berate someone for their weakness but to complement their weakness. In the area where you have weakness is the same area where someone else has strength. On the other hand, your own strength might also be the same area that someone has their major weakness on. So instead of looking for ways to judge someone for their weakness, try to employ your strength to help them - after all, this is what humanity demands. More so, why will you judge someone when you are not even perfect?

One of our core duties as humans is to help humanity. If you see someone derailing or trailing towards the wrong path, it does not call for you to quickly judge them or condemn them, but to help them back to the right path. If judgement was to follow after every offence without the privilege of mercy, then a lot of people will be so lonely. In fact, even you would have borne some heavy punishments. This is not to give excuses for wrongdoings, but as part of our humanity, we also have a duty to be our "brother's keeper." If you see someone trying to wander into the wrong path and you turn a side eye, and then end up judging and condemning them when they have finally fallen, then you are not a better person yourself. As long as you are not perfect, then you do not have the grounds to judge others.

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It is worthy to note that how you relate with people will go a long way to tell about who you are and your personality. And it will also determine how people will also relate with you. If you are a person who is too quick to judge people, they will also relate with you in like manner and they will also judge you. You cannot treat people badly and expect them to treat you goodly. If you want them to treat you goodly, then you have to first do the same to them. So do not be quick to judge so that people will not also be quick to judge you. At the end, it is what you do that matters and it is what makes you who you are.

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