Writing has always been one of the most soulful thing I do. Since I started writing, it has been my concern to write about the person who matters the most in my life other than my father. And that would definitely be my lovable Ammu. She has no idea how much I love her. It might be a good question to ask that why I haven’t written anything for her yet. And the answer would be very simple for me. Mother is not an easy topic to describe. Doesn’t matter how much I write, it’ll always be less. But still it keeps haunting me to write about her. And today I decided I will do it, at least I’ll try it. You know that feeling that once in a while you try to think about the day she won’t be there anymore?? I know you do. And after that you are left with nothing but a blank canvas. I cannot picture that day or maybe I don’t want to. Even this thought can make anyone depressed.
I think if any of us was given the choice of only one wish, we would want our Moms to be there forever. Only her presence can make you feel safe. Any day in your life if you feel sad, pathetic, unsuccessful or whatever negative feeling you can feel just think that there is someone who loves you the most in this world without any condition. That will surely make the impact you need. That day, one of my friend lost her mother and posted a status in facebook telling about her and how he’s going to miss her and begging for her to come back. Reading the status my transparent tears were rolling over my cheeks. I was feeling good and bad the same time. My Ammu is still in my life which is the best part that can ever be to someone’s life and I was sorry for my friend’s loss. Though she’s in my life I miss her every day. I am sitting thousands miles away fulfilling my, her and my father’s dream. Though these three dream is heterogeneous. But those can be fulfilled in one way. I’m not here to talk about my dream here today. So let’s talk about her. She’s maybe the same mom that anyone else has. But isn’t this fact so fascinating that she’s the one that I love differently than others’ mom and yet the same way that others love their mother? I find it fascinating. I miss waking up seeing her every morning, I miss the cup of tea she makes for me every morning, I miss her scolding me for taking shower late, I miss her cooking the whole different meals for me as I have allergies, I miss her calling me for checking up on me if I have had my meal when I’m outside, I miss her worries of me when I am late getting back home, I miss telling her the stories of the day, I miss hearing the crap that happened in my family the whole day, I miss how we laughed at random goofy jokes, I miss gossiping with her, I miss making plans with her, I miss sharing the to-do list of mine that she had no idea of, I miss hearing that “I don’t like this dress”, I miss how she touches my head to fix my hair for no reason while I am heading out, I miss that she gives me all the freedom of the world, I miss her every passing moment. I could write a book about the things I miss about her and it still would’nt be enough.
Copyright - Keya Kashem
I sometimes get overwhelmed about the fact that my Ammu is not that educated but yet she is so cool. She can read and write only. But she never had any of those typical tendency that stops me from enjoying my life or that hinders me from reaching the pinnacle that I want to reach. Otherwise I would be married by now having a family back home, don’t you think? She let me explore my life when I was only 16 to the very far land of USA. She never had the hesitation to send me for the opportunity I got that completely changed my life in the most positive way. I love her even more for the extraordinary quality she has. She never said “No” to the things I wanted to try. And this time when I decided about Germany, I wouldn’t say that she wasn’t worried, actually she was. She was worried how I would cook as I have never done it before, how I would live alone, what would happen when I am sick, who would do my laundry and hundreds other things. Ammu used to feed me with her hands each meal, isn’t that a painful memory to remember? Let alone the idea of eating alone, I miss her feeding me, I miss her talking to distract me from realizing that she is feeding me veggies and some extra scoop of rice. It makes me cry that things will never be the way that it used to be. Still I don’t regret it. I am doing it for her. I hope I can get to the point that I have been planning for my parents for years. Her smile is the most precious source of happiness for me. I don’t know what not to write and when to stop but it cannot go forever, at least in this piece of writing, and I need to stop crying too. I wish someday she realizes how much I love her, though it is next to impossible as I myself don’t know how humongously, truly, madly and deeply I love her. She’s the world to me.And I’ll give her my whole world one day once I have it. I love you Ammu, I really do!
You’re on the other side
As the skyline splits in two
I’m miles away from seeing you
I can see the stars
From America
I wonder do you see them, too?
Link to my original post - http://sitesreel.com/2016/03/31/for-the-one-and-only-2/