The selfish part of me is saying 'why not both?' do all the things in moderation instead. Rent a bike perhaps?

I really don't know, it's so hard to choose, I want to be the change I want to see in the world and be less selfish and go and do what I can. But part of me is also saying 'you earnt this so go for it if you need/want'.

I kind of did what you talked about in the last bit re: wanting something more expensive. Decided a little while ago I wanted a new computer, had a few hundred, figured when I get to $1000 I'll get a half decent pc, 1 gpu, etc.

Few weeks later, looking at crossfire / sli machines with more cores.

Few weeks later priced up the ultimate beast I could ever think about owning. Had everything in the cart, coin ready to pay.

Never did it.

Now months later I am still conflicted about spending, ugh I hate it.