Money Talks in Psychotherapy

You are probably thinking that this article is going to discuss how expensive it is to attend psychotherapy sessions. Wrong! I want to introduce you to one place where people talk about their money that they believe is a safe place—on my sofa.

It seems like we all have intimacy issues, and the thing we find most intimate is our money, our beliefs about money, how we spend and save, and our monetary worth or lack thereof.

I am sworn ethically to reveal nothing that is said in my therapy sessions with clients, unless they are suicidal, homicidal, or have harmed a child. So while we could be talking about old childhood wounds, addiction issues, relationship problems, or mood disorders, it amazes me how many people want to talk about money.

(They don’t know my secret dalliance with altcoins and Bitcoin. In fact these sessions aren’t supposed to be about me at all, so they know nothing about my finances --- other than the normal assumptions people make.)

To Discuss Money with Someone, you Have to Trust That Person.

So what I have learned is that you really have to trust someone to discuss your money with them. I am being paid to be trusted as people’s psychotherapist. Therefore I often end up hearing about people’s money. I don’t get stock tips, or proposals to use some financial advisor, nor do I get offers to join in some venture. People seem to know and honor the boundaries of the relationships we have.

But what do I do when someone is obviously overspending, or investing unwisely in my view, or even if they are getting great success from a certain financial adviser or stock formula? All I can do is lead the client to look at what they are doing and maybe get another viewpoint from someone in the financial arena if they are having problems. If the client feels that there is a problem somewhere in this financial arena, then we discuss it and look for alternatives. If they have successes, sometimes they just want me to validate them---“atta boy!”

So I thought that some people might find this information interesting, yet NOT a reason to seek psychotherapy.

By the way, 2 or 3 times I have asked some very successful people on the way out the door if they have ever heard of Bitcoins or altcoins. I got looks that would kill a cat. They asked if I dabbled it Bitcoins, and I always answer that I had done some reading about them. Only once did I ever have a client ask me if I had done any reading or investing in Bitcoins, as he was starting to look into it. I told him as much as I felt that I could – I have done some reading about them, and find the concept very intriguing, especially the Blockchain.