The P.A.L discord channel awakened me....

in #minnowsupport7 years ago

Hey there fellow steemians,

1ST PART

THE ADMITTANCE

Firstly I want to apologize if any of my latest posts of short stories were ever viewed as I'm the author of it. Truth is I'm not even 10% as good as the authors of them.

2ND PART

THE WRONGDOING

So my own wrongdoing actually started a couple of weeks ago (remember that as I'll refer back to that period further on) by simply sharing stories that I've stumbled upon using an app on my phone, at the beginning I was so sure to mention who the author was and if there were any links available to the original work I'd share too, but then it got worse by blindly copying and pasting the content with no proper credits given to the author.

3RD PART

THE FRUSTRATION

I guess right now I'm gratefully aware why the "wrongdoing" part mentioned above actually took place but at the time I wasn't even aware I was tired, frustrated and disappointed which led to me pointing fingers everywhere except towards my own self.

I've been an avid follower of cryptocurrency for the past few years but never did any investment into it and in turn amounted to a part of the frustration I'm feeling right now due to the lost opportunity of gaining revenue from a then small investment.

Another part of the frustration just seeing how the steemit flaws are just having a huge harsh impact on my own self I came across tons of non value adding posts that generated lots of money just for the sake of curation rewards and on the other hand saw lots of great insights and value adding posts being forgotten and left behind in the "minnow desert".

Last reason for the frustration is because of the stagnation I'm facing at my workplace and biased treatment of top managers towards employees reporting to them and I don't want to go much into detail about this now let's keep it for another post.

4TH PART

The Desperation

Just a couple of weeks ago I was surprised to know that I was about to be a father it was unexpected and unplanned and based on the current household income, mathematically my family won't survive once the baby is here which just pushed me to the desperation cycle by trying to generate any extra income and since I have a problem with my own addictive behavior I want that extra money right now, right here and in huge amounts with the least work done.

5TH PART

The Witch-hunt

Sorry @crimsonclad for calling it that but at the time it really did feel like that.

Some guy on the PAL discord channel reported a post of mine as plaigarism and upon inspection the moderators did revoke every single upvote my posts received from the @minnowsupport project or the @gmuxxbot project and forgive my basic human natureI was just burning deep down inside with lots of questions in my head "why would they?" "How could they?" "Why me?" And then I hopped on the msp-abuse section of the discord chat and just kept blabbering in a stupid debate that I can't stop imagining how stupid I sounded whenever I remember it only to see the response from the administrator unlike anything else I've ever came across.

Encouragement and advise on how to be better and why did they follow that course of action and why is it there in the first place.

6TH PART

The Awakening

I've spent so much time today thinking about what happened yesterday and why it happened.

And the only reason why this happened is because my own higher power wanted to guide me back to the right track, it's only through suffering and hardships that a human being evolves into a higher being, I've spent the last couple of weeks forgetting all about my own higher power and how caring and loving it is to me and went through all of these income mathematical equations as if there's no higher power that I believe in that has my back, forgetting that my only role is to do my best and the rest is my own higher power's role.

it's a long ass improvised unprepared unorganized post but i just felt I had to write it to apologise to you fellow steemians and to thank the PAL discord channel members specifically @gmuxx @crimsonclad and @discordiant I'm sorry if I seemed like an ignorant cunt yesterday this post is for you all.

P.S I intended not to insert a single picture

KOS

Keep on Steeming

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Props for having the chops to own up, it's unfortunate that it took someone nailing you to change the behavior.

I suggest returning the funds if you managed to acquire some, donating the SBD to the @minnowsupport bot, and delegating any additional or powering it down into the @minnowsupport account.

Thanks, have a nice day.

That's a great idea, will surely give back to the amazing project. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

First: thank you for apologizing and owning up to the wrong doing. Desperation can make people do really shameful things sometimes, but the fact that you realize it now, are owning it, and trying to change means the world.
I look forward to seeing your own content. You seem like a really intelligent guy and I'm sure you have plenty to say and in a way that will generate upvotes! It isn't easy, but you will find your voice.
In turn, it may even give you a sense of power and control when your life is otherwise spiraling!
I am so glad the mods at PAL/MSP were able to make you understand and help you realize what you did wrong. And I am even more glad you've decided to turn over a new leaf!
I'm giving you a follow, I expect good things to come!

Thanks for having the time to read the post.

And yes desperation and frustration if not handled correctly will always yield a bad thing.

A while ago own life expectancy estimates did take a huge rise just by realizing, owning and changing a mistake so I'm fully aware with the good that takes place after breaking one's arrogance.

BTW congratulations on being a mod I'm expecting better things to come ;)

Congratulations for fessing up to that behavior and for coming clean. I know it's slow going and I struggle as a minnow seeing all that you have, but hopefully, time will weed out the bad posters and Steemit will eliminate them. Good luck with the baby, and this is a good original post.

Thank you for having the time to read the post.

I'm glad a fellow minnow full with minnion feels the struggle :)

I do believe time heals everything so I hope it does weed out the bad posts and posters.

Thanks again for the baby wishes and describing this fuzzy post as original.

Congratulations on the new baby, and I hope everything gets better for you. Sending good steem vibes your way!

Thanks for the baby wishes, I hope it even gets better for you fellow friend.

Positive vibes redeemed and sent new ones your way.

Dunno why I wrote the last line while exploding into laughter

Good on you for owning up to this, you have a clean slate now and you can move forward and do better things! 🍑

Thanks for taking the time to read the post.

Nothing better than a clean slate to have a great day and do better things.

I messed up and tried to somehow amend what can be amended though the donating back to minnowsupport bot may take a while

Sweet post dude , glad to see there are second chances on here . If only the real world was more forgiving .

Thanks for having the time to read it.

Well the real world sure is forgiving but it needs a lot more effort than social media.

well, I missed this whole thing and all, but well done for the public owning of it, and good luck and good work from here on in.

I am following you now too.

and great stuff from the pal team, as always

Thank you for admitting wrong doing. It can't have been easy. I can understand your plight, it can be a struggle here. Your personal circumstances also gave me pause.

As I said to you previously, I removed you from Muxxybot's voting rules as I didn't like the reputation of Muxxybot, and by extension myself, to be tarnished with voting for plagiarised content. Having said that, I have decided to re add you to Muxxybot's Steemvoter - but please beware I will be monitoring your posts.

Well we just discussed the muxxybot part ;)

Thanks again for your support

As my peers from MSP have already said so well, I witnessed some of this first hand yesterday and yeah man, I'm the guy here that will call a spade a spade, cause I've been a spade so many times in my own way and it takes one to know one. So dude, yep, you screwed up. There, I spaded it.

Now, Mr Spade, let's turn over the dirt and bury it. Let's plant some new seeds with our spade-y skills. As @stitchybitch said, you seem like a smart, insightful fellow. What can you do to contribute instead of taking now that you are aware of how much better it can be to hoe a row like that instead of digging your own hole?

I'd suggest writing the shit out of some great original stories and spending time in the MSP channels to get to know some great people and make some fantastic friends. We are a family and we won't kick you out till make your own way necessary, so come on back, dive into the cool refreshing waters we have there and swim with us toward betterness. We're all in it together. You wont be the first person to turn around and swim a new direction with us.

I'm one of the ones learning to swim all sorts of new ways myself!

See you there new dude!

Love
@SirCork
MSP Waves Radio
Station Manager

Truth is I'm no spade, I'm the ace of spades :)

Yes more original value adding contribution is what I should be doing now. Finding my own niche I guess is my life's struggle, so I decided to solve it right here and maybe I'll indulge more and more with the flock of fellow minnows, dolphins, whales and any sea-living creature who can be named in the future over at the MSP channels.

Thanks for the time spent to read my post and commenting on it.

Keep on swimming and beware of fishers.

Love and peace
@gingyptian
Trying to find his niche

Your niche is your heart. Write from it. My blog is all over the map, or was till I got into the radio station project and witnessing and pretty much don't write much at all anymore.

Keep on broadcasting, dunno why but I feel you should've starred as a character in the movie "Pirate Radio" :D

LOL, not an unflattering remark at all! :D Thanks!