I often feel my experience is the opposite to what most streamers and content creators seem to experience. When I am live, I'm at my best. I feel safe, secure, in control, and able to open up. It's those moments away from that environment where I feel my lowest. When I'm exposed, when I'm losing a grip on that control.
I think for some, streaming is a form of coping that lets them feel normal for a moment. So perhaps it is also a roadblock that inhibits your ability truly better your health. Maybe it is a trick; you feel like that's your normal mood, but it's just masking the deeper issues that still need reconciling.
Great piece though man.
I think that 'live is best' portion is what most folks associate with, it's the culmination of everything we've pushed for and is where we are the masters of our destinies (up to a point), that portion afterwards though, the humdrum of everyday life, the uncertainty of the reality away from the focal point, that's definitely where I think my demons start to creep in and I believe a lot of people feel the same. We feed off of each other but not necessarily in 'regular' societal terms.