HOLA AMIGOS!!!
Disclaimer... I tend to get sidetracked easily when I tell stories or anything really. Just so ya know. But I will always try and lead ya back to the main topic. Everything I say has a meaning to wtf ever the subject is. I just want you to get a feeling of what is what and why it is. or just cuz that's what I do. my brain is Swiss cheese. I will put the "sidetrack" annotation for ya ahead of time when I know I am going astray. If ya don't dig this type of story tellin. Pop that clutch and move along.
Life hasn't gotten any better for me... all I've done is ept. Got into an argument. Slept more. And was omw to admitting myself to the hospital. I woke up at so.e point and tried chanting 3 different chants. And they weren't helping, or maybe they were. As I sat on the edge of my bed in misery uooked through my tears soaked hair and saw my guitar. I picked it up and turned the Amp on . I couldn't even play. Not that I do anyways.. I just couldn't make any joy come put of it. But then it happened. 3 beautiful notes came out. And I played them over and over. And then a lil more was making its way through my fingers. I w then aggravation hit and anger, worthlessness, hatred, and more misery. My life is worthless and all I do is make those around me feel worse as well. Fk it im done with it all and no one needs to suffer anymore
I continue to play and actually felt better. Then exhausted. And back to sleep for however many hours again. I'm no good. Not for me not for the fur babies, my gf, my mom, no one
I got up and was going to my office to destroy all of my gear as I just can't even seem to do right to my clients, or my designs. It's causing me to feel even more like shit. Then at so.e point I got a text from one of my previous customers who wants us to do so.e art for an up coming festival!!! Then I thought maw man. You fkn suck. You have to rely on others right now because your shit is down. You worthless pos. Just get over YetisTees and crawl inside a cave and die. I should have went to theeffn hospital. I'll see how I feel tomorrow or whenever I wake back up.
Have A Happy Day And Don't Forget To Be Awesome!!!
Says,
Yeti
@klyeI give credit.@klye said pretty much what I wanted to say; he found the words much sooner, so toFrom the way things are going (no matter where we get our news), it looks as if things will get worse for all of us before they get better. It's one thing for us to deal with whatever adversity faces us; that's just life. It's another for us to let things beyond our control dominate how we live and think to the point where we just want to give up and POOF.
We're going to move, fall down, get up, move more, fall again, and get up again. No matter how often we fall, we get up after that. That's how we keep moving forward, and that's how winning is done-- however we define it at any point in time. We take our wins however they come and however we get them.
Along the way, we can't let the "motivators" bring us down and beat us into submission. Life does that on its own without us assisting these people. We take our lumps, but then we tell these people "MOTIVATOR, PLEASE" before dishing out some whoop-ass. It can take a while, but eventually the nonsense and insanity will stop and we can get back to being our awesome selves and help others become their own awesome selves, too. Not everyone can do that, but that's what we do.
I'm not sure if this is what you had in mind, but it may be you needed to hear/read. Heroes are like that, and for some people in their lives we are their heroes.
Love and peace, my brother Hiver.
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Well dog, It hasn't gotten any better. My chick left me i dunno now a week or two ago. I ate a grip of pills to just get it over with on Tuesday, again cant do that right. I was pretty effed up for a few days. Then I was back to the same ol me again for 2 days this week.
Me and my ex have been talking. I have to meet her in the next town over to get her her belongings and she gives me one of our dogs back. Well, last night I got to thinking, shes playing me. Then my mind just started running wild. So I slept most the day to silence it.. Sidebar last week I had an epiphany about mental health and want to bring it more out in the open. I came up with a (imo great slogan) and was hella stoked and started research and found a senator here in calie is all about it. started a letter and my freaking head doesn't lemme finish a darn thing... back to today.
When I woke up i was sitting at the end of my bed and going to tell my ex, who says we are still together but somethings just are not lining up for that. It seems like shes playing me. So I told her in a txt I was gonna call I had something I needed to say. She says" ooh ominous sounding" I replied it was. After awakening I sat at the edge of the bed thinking. and I said eff it dont talk bout it be about it. and started a daily organizer for the next 4 days, well 3 actually cuz tomorrow is football. so I lined out what needed to be done each day. Nothing overwhelming and quite simple to complete. As I was doing it I started feeling great again. I have since been good.
All ,ost this whole year has been bad for my mental health. And I was in a very dark place and she was scared as hell. I killed this cat the night before and she saw me do it. I have no idea why I did it. And i feel so bad. Well that was the last straw and she bounced.
I actually dont blame her for leaving. I blame her for staying as long as she did. I would have left months ago. She was afraid. She is so beautiful and innocent in so many ways. I am a monster. I am working on myself, finding a psych, a therapist, getting back up meds which is just going to rob me of my creativity and who I am. But I dont want to hurt anyone or thing. I just want a simple life and some semblance of happiness.especially for those that love me.
I used this app called babalon top find a therapist and psych yesterday, and it was a waste of time and kinda screwed me up cuz I had to relive y life again. Im sick of it. And she said basically, dude youre way too effed up for me to help you here. LOL. Its whatever. But I am practicing just what you said @magnacarta getting back up after I fall down.
Just an hr ago I helped one of my oldest friends find a side hustle thats gonna be a pretty good gig for the guy. His appreciation was overwhelming. One question the woman asked me yesterday was, " what is one thing worth you staying alive for" me, nothing. As we talked I told her that I enjoy helping people through their stuff because I know the pain, I know the signs, and she said try that more or something. Well today was proof of that.
@magnacarta I appreciate you brother. Maybe more than you could understand.I return you the !luv TC my man. Be happy, be authentic.
I remember how it was when I got dumped by my girlfriend in a different life. I didn't see it coming, I was inexperienced in things of that nature, and I let myself be a basket case for close to 2 years then. At first it was genuine; the rest of that time (the majority of that period) I was miserable "just because"; that was a mistake because I didn't move on. It would be many years before I discovered "keep moving forward" (thanks Rocky Balboa (2006)).
We have things which cause of pain and keep us frustrated. We may always have those things, even if we find ways to diminish them. Ultimately, we just have to face those things head on, white knuckles and fear and all, and just say "Screw it" and push our way past it just to get on with the next moment of our lives.
It's like dealing with that ticking time bomb known as debt: we can pay it all at once if we can, or we can pay more for it later using the installment plan. No matter when we pay off that debt, it sucks and it's a bummer; it just sucks even more later, and by then it's more to pay off. It's best just to get through it and be done with it (at least until the next debt arrives).
I know it's a difficult situation for you right now, but I'm glad you're moving forward no matter what happens. We just take it a day at a time, and after a while the experience becomes a bad memory instead of a continuing bad experience. I don't have the answers, but sometimes it's the questions which are more important since they get us to realize things we hadn't realized before.
You have people in your life who care about you, even if they go about it through tough love. There are also people who support you in the world of bits and bytes, and no matter how different we are from each other, there are a few elements we share as human beings. If we can't understand, we can at least appreciate and empathize.
It's not good to go hungry, especially since that can lead to being hangry. Please accept this slice of !PIZZA to go with the bit of LUV from earlier.
I freaking love you dog!! ty
@yeti72, sorry! You need more $LUV to use this command.
The minimum requirement is 10.0 LUV in your liquid wallet.
More LUV is available from Hive-Engine or Tribaldex
Don't an hero sir.
Life is what we make of it.. Their are far greater enemies out their than yourself. :D
Being your own worse critic can suck.. Only your opinion of yourself matters at the end of the day. Show yourself some love, you deserve it, regardless of what you think.
Cheers captain. :)
I just love the understanding ya have in this matter. So many people don't get it and I hurt to think of that. Karma is it all in the end. up or down left or right, hot or cold. We can only control the within and not the without.
Be happy, be authentic!!!
Says
Yeti
I live the same stuff you do captain, maybe not an outright facsimile but certainly understand the types of thoughts you portray in them writings as I have certainly had/have them as well.
End of the day life is short, enjoy it when/while you can, it isn't all bad.. and can always be better or worse.
Either way man, you're golden, try not to shit kick yourself too much, dwelling on your own thoughts is often a fuckin' crapshoot.
Cheers!
TYVM Kyle, You get it. I could feel it. I feel like I have been released from a spell or something. I don 't know why this affected me like it is, but TYVM!!!
I happen to be a wizard. :3
Glad to be of service sir. <3
Cheers.
I gifted $PIZZA slices here:
(1/5) @magnacarta tipped @yeti72 (x1)
Learn more at https://hive.pizza!