Memoir
/ˈmemˌwär/ noun. a record of events written by a person having intimate knowledge of them and based on personal observation. Usually memoirs. an account of one's personal life and experiences; autobiography. the published record of the proceedings of a group or organization, as of a learned society.
On some level most of us realize our weaknesses. The more difficult part is understanding the negative impact these weaknesses have on us. Next week’s Memoir Monday prompt will take honesty, courage, and self-awareness to reap the maximum benefits. The reward for this might just be an ah-ha moment that leads to a better life. This is part of what the Memoir Monday initiative is all about. The big question is do you have the courage to tackle this one with raw honesty?
Memoir Monday has grown so much that I won’t be able to comment on everyone’s posts anymore (and get my own work done) but I’ll still be supporting your posts with reblogs, votes, and shares on my other social media accounts (X, Facebook, etc.).
For all of those who’ve regularly participated in Memoir Monday - keep going, you’re making great progress in chronicling your very own life story for future generations to enjoy.
For those who missed the inaugural post explaining what the Memoir Monday initiative is all about you can find it here.
Now for next week’s Memoir Monday prompt:
What is your biggest weakness?
My answer:
It's important for us all to know our strengths. We’re conditioned to identify the things we excel at for resumes and interviews, but I’d argue it’s even more important to understand our weaknesses.
I've always tried to lived my life with integrity, transparently. What you see is what you get with me. As I’ve become more self-aware in middle age, I’ve realized my biggest weakness is being too nice, too agreeable, and giving people more chances than they sometimes deserve. While I’ve made progress in setting boundaries, it doesn’t always come easily or naturally.
In our daily routines and challenges, it often seems simpler to give in to the wishes and demands of others to reduce friction, be liked, or keep the peace. The problem is that when we’re always the ones who yield, those around us can begin to feel entitled, expect compliance, and even take advantage of our kindness.
Through my journey, I’ve learned that the sacrifice of always keeping the peace often comes at the cost of wasted time and personal happiness. Ironically, being overly agreeable can create more friction in the long run than standing firm in our wishes and convictions. This tendency can also lead to resentment—not just toward others, but toward ourselves for failing to establish boundaries and prioritize our well-being.
Being easy-going is a deceptive trait. In the short term, we’re often rewarded for our flexibility and acceptance. People consider nice individuals easier to work with, and teachers or bosses may value and even reward compliance. However, viewing the world solely through a lens of kindness can create a false reality. It blinds us to the existence of toxic and broken people who seek out easy targets.
To thrive, we must approach our interactions with balance. It’s vital to be aware and not assume everyone we meet is well-intentioned. Compassionate and kind people need to don metaphorical armor to protect themselves. This doesn’t mean abandoning kindness, but rather coupling it with healthy boundaries and a commitment to our own happiness.
Achieving this balance is delicate. If we shift too far in the opposite direction, we risk becoming cynical, harsh, and pessimistic. We must remain hopeful and optimistic while ensuring we aren’t exploited. Most of us instinctively know when we’re being exploited. It’s safe to say if the suspicion that someone else is taking advantage of us arises inside us then there’s at least a kernel of truth to it.
Nearly every negative thing that I've ever experienced can be traced to this one weakness.
This is my greatest life lesson: kindness is a strength when wielded wisely, but it must be tempered with self-respect and boundaries. Only then can we truly nurture our peace and well-being.
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We are not taught to recognize our weaknesses, it seems something frowned upon, but each of us has strengths and weaknesses and the healthiest thing to do is to be aware of that. In your publication you talk about balance and that should be the great goal to achieve. Thank you for sharing, dear @ericvancewalton . A big hug from Maracay.
I already had my answer to this question in mind when I read your post. One of my weaknesses is that I have little tolerance for inconsiderate and foul-mouthed people. It disconcerts me, saddens me and puts me off when I don't find kindness in others. But you're right, you can't be too soft either. This is a good topic.
Best regards.
The good thing about recognizing our weaknesses, as in alcoholics anonymous, is that we can work on them. If we deny them, if we consider ourselves perfect and full of virtues, we can hardly transform ourselves into better beings. Certainly, kindness could never be a weakness, the problem is what others do with kind people: take advantage of their good heart. I have many weaknesses and although I try to change, I often find it difficult to do so. I have worked on many of them, God knows I have, but others persist as a personal mark. An excellent theme for this end of the year, which pushes us to look at ourselves in the mirror and be honest. I hope you are enjoying your new home and these December days. A hug, Eric.
So true Nancy! Identifying our weaknesses is the first step. It can be tough to change our behavior, especially once we have four or five decades of it etched into our brains. I've noticed it's almost like going against instinct at this point. I have to remind myself continually to be more cautious when dealing with others. Thank you! We've been thrown into the realities of homeownership early. We discovered a plumbing leak we're dealing with but, hopefully, it'll be a minor thing. Fingers are crossed. : ) Take care and enjoy your Thursday!
May any problems be minor, my friend. A big hug
I possess several fatal weaknesses, I don't actually know which to call the greatest. But I think I can put a finger on not being able to put up with the faults of others. Not that I'm out and out judgmental and the sort, but I usually have a hard time accommodating the weaknesses of others. I'm learning to work on this weakness and accommodate people more because I too make mistakes. Thanks a lot for the Memoir Monday initiative. It's a totally fine initiative.
Patience and understanding can be tough, especially if people make the same mistakes again and again. I can sympathize with you. It can be very frustrating if people aren't willing to work on themselves. These kinds of people usually leave a wake of drama and misery wherever they go. You're welcome! I'm glad you're enjoying it.
I am very grateful that issues like this are discussed and that those of us who participate are as honest as possible.
As human beings we have weaknesses and whoever considers that they don't have them, that's up to them
. Many times, we discover these weaknesses, work on them and turn them into strengths.
Thank you very much for proposing topics of self-knowledge and personal growth.
Happy week.
Cheers and greetings.
Thank you @tonyes! I hope you're having a wonderful weekend!
In life, every human being has such a weakness, after that he does not understand anything and he stops thinking for some time, so all of us must have a similar compulsion, so a special and interesting hat. Yes, I will definitely make my own post on it.
I think my bigger weakness is that I generally care about future, one steap ahead, and thus I can't make the most of now 🙄
That can be a tough one.
Besides sweets... My weakness would probably be that I take things way to personally. I have a hard time separating "just business" from a personal attack against me. People don't make it much easier either!
Communication (both giving and receiving) can be extremely tough. There are so many times that people don't intend things to come across as they do. Especially if you don't have enough experience with a person to read them and know their communication style. But then there are times when people say things that are completely uncalled for and inappropriate. I can recall more than a few of these instances in my professional and personal life.
Because that is what they want. Obedience and compliance.
They want to control you. Especially the bosses.
The balance is indeed important.
Being nice is a good thing, but always being obedient is not necessarily.
For example if your child is good at football, but bad at math, what would you do?
Probably the school would suggest (or even force) that your son should try to learn math more often and more harder with a good math teacher.
But maybe a good football coach would be better for him.
Which one does he enjoy (more)?
This also matters a lot.
Generally, if a child is visibly good at something, then he/she should focus on that.
Especially if he/she enjoy it.
At least this is what I think.
I totally agree. Blind obedience is a more accurate way to phrase it. Life is definitely a balancing act.
That sounds exactly like me Eric, I want everyone to be happy, but it does come at a price!
I've been mostly absent, very busy with guests but also suddenly having neck and shoulder issues. Having MRIs tomorrow😒 Avoiding pc and cellphone as much as possible.
I'm sure you're enjoying your new home!
The fact that we can't make others happy is a lesson that took me many decades to learn! I'm sorry to hear about your neck/shoulder issues and I hope it's nothing major. The home has been great up until last night. We discovered a pretty significant plumbing leak. The plumber is coming out today or tomorrow to access the damage. In the meantime the master bathroom is out of order. I almost forgot about the "joys" of homeownership. : )
Oh dear, those maintenance issues! That's my concern as well, if it wasn't for my excellent staff and the bnb, I'd be tempted to sell and downscale, but can't give all this up.
My son in the Netherlands wants to renovate their bathroom but the cost is huge.
We're very fortunate here with affordable contractors.
I hope you get it fixed soon!
Today you have spoken a lot of wisdom which is very important, we should know about our weaknesses. Being easy and calm nature can be a kind of deception because people cover their weaknesses with it. So everyone must find their own weaknesses and solve them.
Thanks!
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