Thoughts on Today’s Quote
Relationships of any kind — personal, business, intimate, casual — they can be very enjoyable and a lot of fun when times are good. You’re able to agree, find common ground, get along, get to know each other. All the great things which come from a close relationship. And, then, an argument happens.
An argument is the true test of any relationship. How each party responds to the argument is the test. Anyone can argue, responding well to an argument is another matter.
Which is Your Argument Style?
How do you argue? Do you stand your ground and insist that you must be right while the other person must be wrong? Do you dig in during the heat of an argument and then look for common ground? Do you seek common ground right away? Do you just give in and then seethe about your views not being heard and honoured? Do you run from conflict and avoid it at all costs?
I find I respond differently with different people. With some people by the time an argument flairs up, there have been so many irritants, I just dig in and go for broke. Others it depends on how I value the relationship. If I strongly value the relationship, I will try to head off the argument by seeking common ground immediately. Others, I’ll let it flair and then seek common ground. Sometimes I will avoid the argument. Most often when I do, it’s because I really don’t see any value in pursuing the matter or I feel it will fall on deaf ears to even respond.
Notice the varied responses? I’m betting if you thought about it, yours would be varied too. As would how you feel about the person after the argument has come to an end.
How Arguments Impact Relationships
People who can argue and then find enough common ground to affirm the relationship can draw closer in that relationship. The bonds become stronger over time. The arguments are like forging metal, the blows may test the metal but they will strengthen it. Being able to argue and then carry on with a strong relationship takes maturity and determination by both parties.
For others, each argument becomes like a corrosive substance tossed on the bonds of the relationship. Over time those drops will break down the bond and eventually break it apart. In most instances, both parties participate in tossing that corrosion. It does happen sometimes where one party sees the breaks happening and tries to rebuild the bonds. If the other person isn’t able or willing to work together to rebuild, then the distance will widen as the metal breaks down.
It happens, avoid the blame game and move on. There are other ties which will bind. It just might take time.
About Coffee Time Meditation
I love being inspired by other people’s quotes. I thought I’d start sharing some quotes that inspire me along with my own thoughts the quote evokes within me. So, think of someone, like me, sitting quietly with the first fresh coffee of the day and mediating about the words of the quote. That would be me, or it could be you.
I invite you to share your own thoughts on the quote in the comments.
If you like this series, please upvote it and share with others.
Have a great day
Path to Success
Other posts by me:
— Fourth Steemit Ramble Witness Chat Well Attended -- Recording Included
— TODAY: Witness Chat in the Steemit Ramble - 11am EDT / 3pm UTC
— Pimp Your Post Thursday Today -- June 14th @11am EDT & 7:00pm EDT
— It's Been a Month -- Witness Chat in the Steemit Ramble on Sat. June 16th
— Witness Changes Underway -- Time to Check Your Votes
Past Coffee Time Meditations
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43
Until we meet again …
Team Good Alpaca loves this post! Nomnomnom!
I'm this guy:
all too often the "then" part only happens in the comfort of my own thought where my ego feel less threatened...
Good point! I think it depends on who you are talking to. Some people, it's not even worth the effort to argue your point. They wont hear it. Some people, debating something can be a great way to spend time and even bond.
Nice post!
being able to debate or converse without it being a fight or even devolve into an argument is a skill
and that skill takes mucho self disclipline......almost Ninja like (Code of Bushido)
nice post ;)
the art of real debate is getting so lost in this new world.
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A thought-provoking post! I had a good argument with someone today actually, but I wouldn't even think of falling out with them over it. I suppose the subtext was about setting boundaries in a friendship.
I've never thought about it from that perspective before. Sometimes if I strongly value a relationship, but there are difficult differences, I prefer to have an argument to sort out the issues. On the other hand, I have had friends who try to provoke conflict, almost as if they're trying to test you. It can verge on bullying, and I don't put up with it for long.
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