I just want to share you about my chit-chat with my sister. But, i'm hoping you read this story in completed because it's related to the thought that i had chosen to adopt.
I used to think that talking about girls to my sister was a taboo things. Actually girls theirselves was a taboo things for me even to think about. I'm sure it is because i was raised in a single sex school for about 6 years and i'm very grateful for the experiences that i had (i'll tell you later why i feel so). However, as my age is growing, attracted to a girl is irresistible. I've never felt as miserable as that time regarding special feeling to a girl. One day, i thought i had to tell my sister about it because it had been so hard for me to burden this weirdness in my mind. I decided to speak to my sister about it then
At the time when i met my sister, i didn't even know how to start the conversation because i hardly ever talking about girl and i had never talked about girls to my bros and sister. I suddenly made myself firmed in choosing this action. I told her:
Me: "Kak, there is a girl that i adore. I don't know what kind of feeling is this but, i think i want to spend much time with her".
Ma Sis: "How much have you got in touch with her? How much had you known her?"
Me: "I only know where she studies, i don't know much and i hadn't been in contact yet. Lastly i remembered that i had a talk with her when i was in high school".
My sister then asked me some little information that i know about her and i tried to answer what i knew and after some several questions,
My sis: "So, what do you want me to do?"
Me: "I don't know, i'm not sure. Maybe you can do a thing that kind of proposing but not a proposal, i don't know, i'm confused. Is proposal actually a good thing now?"
My sis: smiling... "it is funny to see my man facing this stage of life. My dear, every people have a dream. I even still remembered all the dreams that you had tell me and i do really want to see you reach all your dreams. You had chose a path in living your life, hadn't you? And i know that the life that you had chosen will faced you many hardships. My man, if you have dreams, so do I. A woman also have dreams that she wants to reach. We don't know how hard has she strived for reaching her dreams. I'm sure she has crafted her pathway since she was in high school, or even before that time. We don't know, maybe at this phase of age, she is in her peak performance in reaching her dreams. So do you, you still have a lot to learn in achieving your dreams. If we do disturb her with telling her about the thing, i think it will effect her mind so much and made she thinks again about reaching her dreams. You have to know this, for girls, even though she tried to be an ignorant about being in a relationship with a man, when she knows that there is a man who seriously proposed her, will make she thinks about it.
You still have a time. I'm sure you can hold yourself from any kinds of adultery. Every man have dreams, so do woman. Don't turn the path that they have built to reach their dreams too early. You are 19 now and still have so much potentials that can't be unleashed if you have married. Our beloved prophet Muhammad (pbuh) married in 25. You still have 6 more years as a deadline. Prepare yourself well buddy, especially for the hardships that will hold you off from your way of life, from your way of da'wah. Marriage is sunnah and da'wah is obliged to every one of us. Focus on crafting your da'wah path well, make it stands firmly. Make it ready, so that it will be enough to be passed by two of you when you are married. Reach your dreams and let the girl also reach her dreams as long as the deadline is still far".
After my sister told me that, it really calmed me down and i feel more exaggerated to reach my dreams. Now i'm sure that i'll be more productive at this age if i don't really think about woman and marriage. The time hasn't come yet. As long as i still have 6 years as a deadline, i have to push myself hard to enhance my quality as a human being and as an educated people so that i can be a more prepared dad when the time comes.
May I know the age of the girl? I might be not expert in this kind of thing, but I do think that you need to tell the girl about your feeling first :D Because I'm not really sure If the girl can wait until 6 years without knowing your feeling. A girl is a girl, and if your girl is Acehnese, after graduating people around her will start to ask the question about marriage, especially the parents. If she hasn't got any of the "calon" yet, they might start to help her search for one.
Yes you may. it's about the same age as mine. I'm afraid that if i told her so, i can't keep myself or herself from getting into more intense conversations (or relationships) that i think should haven't been done yet. still have point of views about this? and yes, she is an Acehnese girl
Yes, It's easy actually in my opinion. If you had told her about your feeling, first you must hear her answer. If positive, then you need to tell her too about the line you/she mustn't cross.
I'ts not the time for this flower to bloom. telling this feeling now will only open the gate to disreputation of two creation that should be valuable in the eyes of Allah. I will tell her about it when time has come. I've decided to rely this feeling on Allah. if it is meant to be, i'm sure she will be there for me, she will be destined to be mine. I'm letting the time does its works. thanks for your thoughts. @syifazz0926
You are very welcome. From the first it's just my opinion. You do sure have strong thought in this case which I think is really good. Good luck