Por, your hunch is entirely incorrect.
You, more than anyone I've ever met, were born to sing "Rocking Out the Loot on Splinterlands." It is your Destiny.
Indeed, there's a part of the song which is practically a dedication to you:
Gone away, is your girlfriend,
Parting words, “You’re a dead-end,”
😉 It doesn't need to be fancy (or even particularly good), it simply needs to be entertaining.
Here's a rendition of the original that sounds suspiciously like ... Elvis!
If you could do Elvis, I could turn that into a "conspiracy theory" so fast it would make your head spin. And Por, there's money in conspiracy.
Por is the lovechild of Elvis and a brothel-whore in Guadalajara named, Chiquita. Following in his father's footsteps, he has used his musical career as a front for undercover intelligence-related activities. Indeed, rumor has it that he is currently the CIA's CyberSpace Chief of Station, responsible for identifying crypto users who have been less than forthcoming about their true identities and how much they owe the IRS. It is said that Por works closely with QuillFire, the head of the CIA's Poetry Division.
When opportunity comes knocking ...
Oh! opportunity! That make sense indeed... in this specific context. };)
But I have to warn you that I've killed annoying flies from the distance just using the dreadful & out of tune singing of my voice when a few of them had been left inadvertently locked with me in the bathroom while I was more off guard sitting on my throne already in the middle of my royal chores.
And according to what you have described in the quote uncovering part of the story of my childhood and undercover intelligence-related activities. I can almost assure you that I will be more successful in that next "Big Pricks, Small Dicks" poem and contest, if you just turn it into a dance contest rather than a singing contest. Regardless if I have to imitate the voluptuous dance steps of my father Elvis while he sang or any other steps a little bit funkier. :D
Cheers! :)
😂🍻