Missing someone becomes second nature to some. Over a course of a few years I had to say goodbye to my older brother, grandmother, 2 uncles, my dad, my childhood best friend, a very close cousin and my husband! I miss each in different ways.
At my age I see and hear of more people that have passed. It cant be just an age thing! The obits are full of children, teens, young and old adults. Maybe it is just that some have hit so close to home.
BUT missing a person is hard on you emotions. The every day conversations, planning for dinner, family events.... there is a huge void. The at holidays it hits you like a ton of bricks. The persons chair next to you is filled by someone else. Even though the first year that my husband was gone, the children left an empty chair next to me. Many ways I thought it was very sweet of them. BUT in others it was just sad! Everything is a reminder that the loved ones are no longer with us. Some a little easier than others. Why does the special days hit us so hard. With me everyday hit me hard! The first year I was numb, the second year I could tell you everything my husband was doing. Then the 3rd year I have felt guilty in so many ways.
If there is one thing I could tell everyone .... PLEASE DO NOT SAY YOU KNOW HOW WE FEEL
Even if you have lost a husband, father, brother..... its different with each person.
Will the pain of missing a person ease. Knowing that the person is gone and never coming back is like no other pain. Even with closure it still sucks.
Love every day as if it is the last day. never go to bed upset. if you are afraid it will cause issues or a fight, say it any way. hug kiss and say I love you often. leave notes around the house in the vehicle lunch box for your family members. call your parents and check on them often no matter how old they are or if you think they have lost their mind.
Be kind to your brother or sister. Don't cancel plans to see family or friends.
These are not things that matter right now, but deep down it will help you down the road.
Oh something that drives me crazy....
I don't want to remember them sick or visit them in the hospital....
Stop it! Go visit. I promise if something ever happened to them and you don't go see them it will eat you alive! Never know maybe your visit or concern is the peace they need or the healing they want!
Don't miss a person with doubts. Miss the person with love and peace for you both!!
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