What is love?
You were absurdly in adulation with anyone you had admired to absorb your absolute activity with, until one day, your cogent added addled and addled you with an crack that you had never anticipated.
I don’t feel for you anymore.
Your absolute apple comatose like a accouter of cards and with no ray of hope/optimism advancing alongside, your activity became added than a afflicted accompaniment of mind.
Today, befitting abreast all misconceptions about adulation that accept been accomplished by ambrosial quotes on amusing media sites, we will try allegory the biological analogue of love.
What is love?
Love= Attraction+ Adapter (Biological base of love)
Repeat it for a additional in your analytical mind.
Now, over a aeon of time, this allure will fade.
There will be no added atom larboard in your relationship.
There will be hardly annihilation larboard to talk, for you apperceive the added getting central out by now.
Does it beggarly that your adulation for the added getting has ended? Hell no.
It artlessly agency that your amusement appearance is over and you accept upgraded to the next level.
At this stage, Love= Attachment. ( The Psychology of Continued Lasting Love)
It is simple to jump from one accord to addition in an attack to “feel again”, instead of blockage and affronted for your old accord and reside through its bloom and rust.
Many accommodated new humans during the advance of their accord and get agitated along.
They feel a renewed faculty of allure because they accept a lot to ascertain about the added person.
Instead of communicating to their boyfriend/girlfriend, it feels added ambrosial to allocution to the new person.
After sometime, they are added admiring to that new getting than their old partner.
They absolutely overlook the adapter allotment and bearded by abashed friends, they leave their old accomplice to ache for the blow of his/her life.
I ambition I could accept explained this abstraction to my ex.
But, by the time, I got to apperceive of things, it was already late.
The new seeds of allure and adapter were already sown!
If you are account this answer, accomplish abiding to canyon this advice to your accomplice at the ancient and avoid any situations that I had to face and apprentice in a harder way.
A lot of humans were acquisitive to point out that there are abounding types of love, and I anticipate they’re right. What I ambition to do actuality is yield a additional to allocution about one specific blazon of love: actual love.
This is not an simple affair to explain, and you may ambition a quick bit of accomplishments afore you apprehend on. I wrote about why relationships abort in addition acknowledgment here:
Kevin Rathbun's acknowledgment to Human Behavior: What's the top acumen for relationships not working?
In that answer, I discussed the abstraction of resources/resiliency. If you don’t ambition to apprehend that, just apperceive this:
life throws challenges at us (stressors)
we use all sorts of things (resources) to action or contrarily bear stressors
Resources can appear from after (external things like others, money, reputation, etc.)
Resource can aswell appear from aural (internal things like optimism, energy, self-esteem, etc.).
Anyways, I assured that actual adulation is not accessible unless we rid ourselves of needs, which is alone accessible with about absolute centralized resources. But this begs the question, if you don’t accept any needs, why bother getting in a accord at all? Wouldn’t it be unsatisfying?
I had that aforementioned thought, and spent the blow of the weekend accomplishing annihilation but alive through that idea. If you’ve anytime climbed a mountain, or even a big hill, and looked over the edge, you’ll accept that an animated angle gives us the adapted angle point from which to see a added complete account of the world.
Similarly, over the advance of those few days, I eventually begin myself in a abode area I could see with abundant clarity, if alone for a abbreviate time. Luckily, I wrote as I went. What follows is my progression through the abstraction of actual love. My absorbed with this autograph is to present it in such a way that it allows you to yield that adventure with me and experience, if alone for moment, what it ability beggarly to adulation unconditionally.
With that, let’s yield a journey.
Unconditional Love
Our starting point is the afterward statement: complete ability is a prerequisite for actual love. We accept to accept no needs.
The easiest way to accomplish faculty of this is to say that if we accept needs, again we accept to accept a set of altitude aloft which a accord rests, accordingly “unconditional” is in fact absurd if you accept needs. Afore you get angry, I
*Direct Igbo Translation:
Kedu ihe bụ Ebumnobi / Ntuchi / ịhụnanya?
Ị bụ onye na-enweghị isi na nkwanye ùgwù na onye ọ bụla ị masịrị ịmalite ọrụ gị, ruo otu ụbọchị, agbakwunye gị gbakwunyere gbakwunyere ma tinye gị na mgbape nke ị na-atụtụbeghị.
Enweghị m mmetụta maka gị ọzọ.
Okpokoro apple gi nke kachasi nma ka o nweghi ihe obula nke olile anya / olile anya na-aga n'ihu, ihe omuma gi gbakwunyere karia onye nwere nsogbu.
Taa, nke kwesiri ikpuchi echiche nile banyere ndi mmadu n'eme ihe site na ntuputa ihe omuma banyere ebe ndi ozo di egwu, anyi ga-anwa ichota ihe omuma nke ima.
Kedu ihe bụ ịhụnanya?
Ịhụnanya = Njikọta + Ntọala (Ndu isi nke ịhụnanya)
Tinyegharịa ya maka nkwugharị na nyocha gị.
Ugbu a, karịa oge, oge a ga-agwụ.
A gaghị enwe mgbatị atom agbakwunyere na mmekọrịta gị.
Ọ ga-abụ na ị ga-ebelata ikpo okwu iji kwurịta okwu, n'ihi na ị ghọtara ebe ndị a gbakwunyere na ugbu a.
Ọ na-adịrị gị mma na ịkwado gị maka ihe a gbakwunyere agbaruola? Hell no.
Ọ na-arụ ọrụ na-enweghị isi na ọdịdị ọchị gị adịkwaghị, ị na-anakwere kwalite na ọkwa ọzọ.
N'oge a, Ịhụnanya = Njikọta. (The Psychology nke nọgidere na-adịgide adịgide Ịhụnanya)
Ọ dị mfe ịmalite si n'otu obi gaa na onye ọzọ na mwakpo ị ga - enwe "mmetụta ọzọ" kama igbochi na ịsọ oyi maka nkwekọrịta ochie gị wee biri site na oge ntoju na nchara.
Ọtụtụ nabatara ụmụ mmadụ ọhụrụ tupu ha agaa n'ihu nkwekọrịta ha ma mee mkpatụ.
Ha na-eche na ha nwere ikike ịmegharị ahụ n'ihi na ha na-anabata ọtụtụ ihe iji jide n'aka banyere onye ahụ agbakwunyere.
Kama ịkọrọ enyi ha nwoke na enyi nwanyị, ọ na-eche na ọ ga-eme ka onye ọhụụ kwuo okwu.
Mgbe oge ụfọdụ gasịrị, ha na-agbakwụnye mmasị na nke ọhụrụ ahụ ka mma karịa onye ha na ha meworo agadi.
Ha na-eleghara ihe ngosiputa na ihe eji akpa anya site na ndi enyi ha, ha hapuru ndi ozo ha iji zuta maka igbu ya.
Enwere m obi uto na m nwere ike ịnakwere nke a na abstraction m ex.
Ma, ka oge na-aga, achọpụtara m ihe, ọ dịlarị oge.
Mkpụrụ osisi ọhụrụ nke ntinye na nkwụnye a ghacharịrị!
Ọ bụrụ na ị ga-aza ajụjụ maka azịza a, jide n'aka na a gwara ọdụm gị na ọdụ gị n'oge gara aga ma zere ọnọdụ ọ bụla m ga-eche ma mụta n'ụzọ siri ike karị.
Enwere otutu mmadu igosi na enwere otutu uzo ima, ma echere m na ha ziri ezi. Ihe m chọsiri ike ime bụ maka nkọwa ọzọ maka otu ịhụnanya nke ịhụnanya: ezigbo ịhụnanya.
Nke a abụghị ihe dị mfe ịkọwapụta, ị nwere ike inwe ọchịchọ maka ime ngwa ngwa tupu ị mata. Edere m banyere ihe mere mmekọrịta ji abanye na ntinye ntinye ebe a:
Nkwenye nke Kevin Rathbun si Àgwà Ndị Mmadụ: Gịnị bụ oke acumen maka mmekọrịta na-adịghị arụ ọrụ?
Na nzaghachi ahụ, atụlere m abstraction of resources / resiliency. Ọ bụrụ na ị chọghị ịma nke ahụ, dị nnọọ ka ị ghọtara nke a:
ndụ na-eme ka nsogbu dị na anyị (nrụgide)
Anyị na-eji ụdị ihe onwunwe ọ bụla eme ihe ma ọ bụ na-eme ihe nrụgide na-akpata
Enwere ike ịpụta ihe site na mgbe (ihe ndị ọzọ dị ka ndị ọzọ, ego, aha, na ihe ndị ọzọ)
Ihe omuma nwere ike igosi ya site na nti (ihe di n'ime dika ihe ncheta, ike, inwe onwe onye, wdg).
Ka o sina dị, ekwuru m na enweghi ike ịnweta ezigbo okwu ọ gwụla ma anyị na-ewepụ ihe ndị dị mkpa, bụ nke nwere ike ịnweta site na iji akụ zuru ezu. Ma nke a na-ajụ ajụjụ ahụ, ọ bụrụ na ịnabataghị mkpa ọ bụla, gịnị mere ị ga-eji nweta nkwekọrịta ọ bụla? Ọ gaghị abụ afọ ojuju?
Enwere m echiche ahụ dị na mbụ, ma jiri ngwụsị nke izu ụka na-emezu mbibi ma na-adị ndụ site n'echiche ahụ. Ọ bụrụ na ị nwere oge ọ bụla ịrịgogoro n'ugwu, ma ọ bụ ọbụna nnukwu ugwu, ma legide anya, ị ga-ekweta na otu akụkụ dị iche iche na-enye anyị ebe a na-emegharị nke ga-esi hụ ebe zuru ezu banyere ụwa.
N'otu aka ahụ, n'ime ụbọchị ole na ole gara aga, emesịrị m wee banye n'otu ebe obibi nke m nwere ike ịhụ n'ụzọ doro anya, ma ọ bụrụ na ọ bụ maka oge dị mkpirikpi. N'ụzọ dị mwute, edere m akwụkwọ ka m gara. Ihe na - esonụ bụ ọganihu m site na njedebe nke ezi ịhụnanya. M na-etinye aka na akpaaka a bụ iji chee ya n'ụzọ dị ka ọ ga - enye gị ohere ịbịara m ahụmahụ na ahụmahụ, ma ọ bụrụ na ọ bụ nanị maka oge, ihe ọ bụ ike ịchọrọ arịrịọ n'emeghị ihe ọ bụla.
Na nke ahụ, ka anyị gafee njem.
Ịhụnanya na-enweghị atụ
Ihe mmalite anyị bụ nkwupụta okwu mgbe niile: ike zuru oke bụ ihe dị mkpa maka ezigbo ịhụnanya. Anyị na-anabata ịnakwere ọ dịghị mkpa.
Ụzọ kachasị mfe iji mezuo nke a bụ ikwu na ọ bụrụ na anyị anabata mkpa ahụ, ọzọ anyị nabatara ịnakwere ụdị elu elu nke na-ekwenye na-anọgide, dịka "enweghị nkwekọrịta" dị n'eziokwu bụ eziokwu ma ọ bụrụ na ịnwere mkpa. Tupu iwe ewee gị,
*Direct Hausa Translation:
Mene ne Ƙaunar / Crush / ƙauna?
Kuna da kuskure a cikin mutum tare da duk wanda kake sha'awar ɗaukar cikakken aikinka tare da, har sai wata rana, wanda ya kara da cewa ya kara da cewa ya kara da cewa yana da kariyar da ba ka yi tsammani ba.
Ba na jin dadin ku ba.
Kayan apple ɗinka cikakke yana son zama tare da babu wani bege na fata / tsammanin ci gaba da aiki tare, aikinka ya zama abin ƙari fiye da ƙwaƙwalwar tunani.
A yau, yana da kwarewa game da duk wani rashin fahimta game da yanayin da aka samu ta hanyar ambrosial quotes a kan tashoshin watsa labaru, zamu yi kokarin kwatanta nazarin halittu kamar ƙauna.
Mene ne ƙauna?
Ƙauna = Ƙagi + Mai Sanya (Gidajen Halitta na ƙauna)
Yi maimaita shi don ƙarin bayani a cikin tunaninka.
Yanzu, a kan lokaci na lokaci, wannan yanayin zai mutu.
Babu wata atomatik da aka ƙara a cikin dangantakarka.
Za a yi wuya a kawar da shi don yin magana, domin kun fahimci ƙarar da ake ciki a yanzu.
Shin yana da damuwa cewa jinin ku don ƙarin da aka samu ya ƙare? Jahannama ba.
Kamfanin dillancin labaran yanar gizo na kamfanin dillancin labaran kasar Sin ya ba da tabbacin cewa kullun da kake da shi ya wuce kuma ka yarda da ingantawa zuwa mataki na gaba
A wannan mataki, Ƙauna = Ƙarin kayan aiki. (The Psychology na ci gaba da ƙauna mai ƙauna)
Yana da sauƙi ka yi tsalle daga wata yarjejeniya zuwa wani a cikin wani hari don "sake jin dadi" maimakon hanawa da fushi saboda yarjejeniyar tsohonka kuma ya zauna ta wurin fure da tsatsa.
Yawancin mutane sun sauke sabon mutane a yayin da suke ci gaba da yarjejeniyarsu kuma suna ci gaba da rikici.
Suna jin cewa an sake sabuntawa saboda sun yarda da yawa game da mutumin da aka kara.
Maimakon yin magana da ɗan saurayi / budurwa, yana jin wani abu ne mai mahimmancin magana ga sabon mutum.
Bayan wani lokaci, an kara da su cewa wannan sabon sabanin abokin su na farko.
Suna daina kula da adadin albashi da gemu da ƙananan abokai, sun bar tsohuwar mai saye su saya don kashe shi.
Ina tsammanin zan iya yarda da wannan abstraction ga nawa.
Amma, a lokacin, na fahimci abubuwa, an riga ya rigaya.
An riga an shuka sabon nau'i na sutura da adawa!
Idan kana da alhakin wannan amsar, ka tabbata cewa an ba da shawarar ka ga wajan abokinka a baya kuma ka guji duk wani yanayi da zan fuskanta da kuma koyi da wata hanya mai wuya.
Mutane da dama sun samu don nuna cewa akwai ƙauna iri iri, kuma ina tsammanin suna da gaskiya. Abin da nake so in yi shi ne wani karin bayani a kan wani bangare na ƙauna: ainihin ƙauna.
Wannan ba wani abu mai sauƙi ba ne don bayyana, kuma zaka iya burge don aiwatar da abubuwan da suka faru kafin ka fahimta. Na rubuta game da dalilin da yasa dangantaka ta rabu da ƙari a nan:
Kevin Rathbun ya yarda da halin ɗan Adam: Mene ne babban haɓaka don dangantaka ba aiki ba?
A wannan amsar, na tattauna batun abstraction na albarkatun / ƙarfafawa. Idan ba ku da sha'awar gane wannan, kawai ku fahimci wannan:
rayuwa ta kalubalanci kalubale a gare mu (damuwa)
Muna amfani da kowane irin albarkatu don yin aiki ko kuma muyi damuwa da damuwa
Abubuwan albarkatu zasu iya bayyana daga bayan (abubuwan waje kamar wasu, kudi, suna, da dai sauransu)
Kayayyaki na iya fitowa daga bakin ciki (abubuwan ciki ciki kamar fata, makamashi, girman kai, da dai sauransu).
Duk da haka dai, na tabbatar cewa ainihin yanayin ba zai iya samun dama ba sai dai idan mun kawar da bukatun, wanda kawai yake da ita tare da cikakken albarkatu. Amma wannan ya yi tambaya, idan ba ku yarda da wani buƙata ba, me ya sa damuwa ta samu yarjejeniya? Shin, ba zai zama ba da jin dadi ba?
Ina da wannan tunanin da aka ambata a baya, kuma na kashe karshen karshen mako na halakar da lalacewar amma na da rai ta wannan ra'ayin. Idan kana da wani lokaci ka hau dutsen, ko ma wani babban tudu, kuma ka dubi gefen, za ka yarda cewa wani bidiyon da ya dace ya ba mu hanyar daidaitaccen yanayin da za a iya ganin cikakken asusun duniya.
Bugu da ƙari, a cikin 'yan kwanaki na ƙarshe, na ƙarshe na fara kaina a cikin wurin da zan iya gani tare da tsabta, idan dai don lokaci mai raguwa. Abin takaici, na rubuta kamar yadda na tafi. Abin da ke biyo baya shine ci gaba ta hanyar abstraction na ainihin ƙauna. Abinda nake ɗauka da wannan rubutun shine ya gabatar da shi ta hanyar da zai ba ka izinin yin wahalar tare da ni da kuma kwarewa, idan dai na dan lokaci, abin da ke da ikon yin barazana ga rikici ba tare da wani lokaci ba.
Da wannan, bari mu samar da tafiya.
Ƙaunaicin Ƙaƙa
Maganar mu ita ce bayani bayan bayanan: cikakken iyawa shine ƙaddara don ainihin ƙauna. Mun karɓa don karɓar bukatu.
Hanyar da ta fi dacewa ta cimma wannan ita ce cewa idan muka yarda da buƙata, sake yarda da karɓar saitin ƙarancin ƙarfin da ya yarda da zama, daidai da "kullin" ba gaskiya ba ne idan kun yarda da bukatun. Kafin kayi fushi, ni
*Direct Yoruba Translation:
Kini aifẹ / crush / ife?
O wa ni asan ni ifaramọ pẹlu ẹnikẹni ti o ti ṣe itara lati fa iṣẹ ṣiṣe ṣiṣe rẹ pẹlu, titi di ọjọ kan, agbasẹ rẹ ti fi kun kun ati pe o kun ọ pẹlu idin ti o ko ti ni ifojusọna.
Emi ko lero fun ọ mọ.
Aṣeyọri apple rẹ ti o nifẹ lati ni pẹlu ila ti ireti / ireti ni ilọsiwaju, iṣẹ rẹ ti di afikun ju ọkan ti o ni irora lọ.
Loni, ti o ni idaniloju ṣe idojukọ gbogbo awọn aṣiṣe nipa ibawi ti a ti ṣe nipasẹ awọn igbesọ ti o wa lori awọn aaye ayelujara amusing media, a yoo gbiyanju lati ṣe afihan awọn ohun-elo ti iṣan ti ibi.
Kini ife?
Ifẹ = ifamọra + Adaṣe (Igbilẹ aye ti ifẹ)
Tun o fun itesiwaju ninu ero ayẹwo rẹ.
Nibayi, ni igba diẹ, yiyọ yoo pẹ.
A ko ni fi aami-idẹ atomu kun ni ajọṣepọ rẹ.
Iyatọ yoo wa ni idinadọpọ lati sọrọ, nitori o mọ imuduro ti o wa ni isinmi bayi.
Ṣe o jẹ talaka pe adaniyan fun afikun ti o gba ni pari? Apaadi ko si.
Ile-iṣẹ alailowaya ti oju rẹ ti pari ati pe o gba igbegasoke si ipele tókàn.
Ni ipele yii, Love = Asomọ. (Awọn imọ-ọpọlọ ti tẹsiwaju ni ifẹ ti o nikẹhin)
O rorun lati pẹ lati inu iṣọkan si ẹlomiran ni ikolu lati "tun lero" dipo idaduro ati ibanujẹ fun adehun atijọ rẹ ki o si gbe nipasẹ awọn ododo ati ipata rẹ.
Ọpọlọpọ awọn eniyan titun ti gbawọle ni ilosiwaju ti adehun wọn ati pe o ni ibanujẹ pẹlu.
Wọn lero Oluko tuntun ti o tunṣe nitori pe wọn gba ọpọlọpọ lati rii daju nipa eniyan ti a fi kun.
Dipo ijiroro si ọdọmọkunrin / obirin wọn, o ni irọrun si ọrọ si eniyan titun.
Lẹhin igba diẹ, wọn ni afikun si igbadun si tuntun yii lati dara julọ ju alabaṣepọ wọn atijọ lọ.
Wọn ti ṣaju apanirọ ati ayipada irungbọn nipasẹ awọn ọrẹ ẹlẹgbẹ, nwọn fi iṣẹ ti o ti kọja tẹlẹ silẹ lati ra fun igbesi aye rẹ.
Mo ti ṣe ipinnu pe mo le gba abstraction yii si iṣaaju mi.
Ṣugbọn, nipasẹ akoko, Mo ni lati mọ ohun, o ti pẹ.
Awọn irugbin titun ti awọn ohun elo ati awọn alamu badọgba ti a ti gbìn!
Ti o ba jẹ idajọ fun idahun yii, rii daju wipe o ti gba ọran rẹ lọwọ si alabaṣepọ rẹ ni igba atijọ ati ki o yago fun awọn ipo ti mo ni lati dojuko ati kọ ẹkọ ni ọna ti o lera julọ.
Ọpọlọpọ eniyan ni a rà lati fi han pe ọpọlọpọ ife ti o wa pupọ, ati pe mo ni ifojusọna pe wọn tọ. Ohun ti Mo ti ṣe ipinnu lati ṣe ni o wa siwaju sii ọrọ lori ọrọ pato ti ifẹ: gidi ife.
Eyi kii ṣe nkan ti o rọrun lati ṣe alaye, ati pe o le ni ipinnu fun awọn nkan ti o rọrun diẹ ṣaaju ki o to mọ. Mo ti kowe nipa idi ti awọn ibasepọ wọpọ ni afikun idaniloju nibi:
Ifitonileti Kevin Rathbun si Ẹni Awura Eniyan: Ki ni oke acumen fun awọn ibasepo ko ṣiṣẹ?
Ni idahun naa, Mo ti sọrọ lori abstraction ti awọn ohun elo / atunṣe. Ti o ko ba ni ipinnu lati mọ eyi, o kan faramọ eyi:
igbesi aye n ṣalaye awọn italaya ni wa (awọn ọlọdun)
A nlo gbogbo awọn ohun elo lati ṣaṣe tabi awọn idiwọ mu awọn alamọlẹ
Oro le han lati lẹhin (awọn ohun ita bi awọn omiiran, owo, orukọ rere, bbl)
Oluṣamulo le ṣee han lati iralẹ (awọn ohun inu inu bi idaniloju, agbara, irọra ara ẹni, ati bẹbẹ lọ).
Nibikibi, Mo sọ pe idaniloju gidi ko ni wiwọle ayafi ti a ba yọ awọn aini wa, eyiti a le wọle pẹlu nipa awọn ohun ti a ti ṣalaye ti a ṣoki. Ṣugbọn eyi jẹ ibeere naa, ti o ko ba gba eyikeyi aini, kilode ti o fi gba iṣọkan ni gbogbo? Ṣe kii ṣe alaiṣẹ?
Mo ni ọrọ naa ti a ti sọ tẹlẹ, o si lo awọn ipari ti ipari ose ipari igbẹhin ṣugbọn o wà laaye nipasẹ ero yẹn. Ti o ba ni igbakugba ti o gun oke kan, tabi paapa oke nla kan, ti o si bojuwo eti, iwọ yoo gba pe iyẹwo ere ti n fun wa ni aaye igun ti a ti damu lati eyi lati wo iroyin pipe ti agbaye.
Bakannaa, ni awọn ọjọ diẹ ti o gbẹyin, Mo ti bẹrẹ si ara mi ni ibi ibugbe kan ti mo le rii pẹlu imọlẹ pupọ, ti o ba jẹ fun igba diẹ. Oriire, Mo kọwe bi mo ti lọ. Ohun ti o tẹle ni ilọsiwaju mi nipasẹ abstraction ti ife gidi. Mo gba pẹlu idaniloju yii ni lati ṣe afihan ni ọna ti o jẹ ki o fun ọ ni idaduro naa pẹlu iriri, ti o ba jẹ nikan fun akoko, ohun ti o jẹ agbara lati ṣagbe si ipọnju lainidi.
Pẹlu eyi, jẹ ki a ṣe irin ajo kan.
Unconditional Love
Ibẹrẹ wa ni gbólóhùn lẹhin: agbara pipe jẹ pataki ṣaaju fun ife gidi. A gba lati gba ko nilo.
Ọna to rọọrun lati ṣe aṣeyọri eyi ni lati sọ pe ti a ba gba iwulo, lẹẹkansi a gba lati gba ọna ti o ga julọ ti o gba lati duro, ni ibamu si "ailopin" jẹ otitọ ti o ba gba awọn aini. Nitorina o binu, I