How To Resolve Issues.

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In any kind of relationship, arguments are bound to arise, and whether we intend to hurt each other deliberately or not, we still feel so hurt and down. What do you do when the person who is supposed to make you smile is the one who made you cry? How do you feel? Hurt ofcourse, but does that mean we just throw in the towel, raise the white flag and give up? Your attitude to how you resolve issues determine what that relationship mean to you, it makes you know the value you placed on such relationship in the first place.

When we feel the hurt and pain, it make us question a lot of things and often times we like to lash out or keeping to ourselves or even point fingers and hold an innocent person, (who is not even in connection to the hurt we feel) responsible for our pains.

This post is actually to teach you how to resolve issues without necessarily involving another party and also to help you keep your feelings in check without having to lash out on others which might drive them away.

1. Ask for wisdom: This works every time. Some times i get to the edge of a situation and it look so overwhelming, all i can do at that moment of helplessness is to ask God for wisdom on how to deal with the situation. It is okay to ask for help, just like @surpassinggoogle rightly mentioned earlier today. Asking for help or wisdom on how to deal with a matter from God is actually to acknowledge your human deficiencies and trade your weakness for God's strength.

2. Ask for God's intervention: I have been in situations that clearly makes me unhappy and the first thing i do when i notice peace is actually eluding me is to ask God to step in and by divine orchestration, the gaps get to be mended and the issue gets to be resolved. I can't really explain it sometimes but i know a higher force is at work in it. God won't step in to any situation if you actually really never asked him for it, that's the truth. God will never override your options. He has given us the power of choice and asking for His input is just to let Him know that our human strength is limited and that is when He always show up. If you think you have gotten it all together, then He stays and watch you do it your way.

3. Be willing to let go and forgive: Cherish your peace above any conflict. Let go of your right to be right. Humility pays. Let your desire to make it work outweigh your desire to be right. Someone must be willing to 'come down'.
   When you let go and forgive, even though i admit it is hard, you are doing yourself more favour than you are doing the other person. Guard your heart with all diligence. Letting go of your desire to be right surely make it a bit easy as you won't try to force your point. Let go, and let peace come into your heart. What you lose to unforgiveness is greater than what you lose to dropping your ego.

4. Be flexible in your relationship: Be open to changes and learning, more so, patience. When you set your heart to changes and learning, when you leave yourself open to knowing things might not always be how we expect them to be, it makes it easier. Make allowances for other people's mistakes. Make room for change. There are times you talk and times you keep quiet.
   When dealing with a man, always know that men are logical and they interpret more than they hear. Ladies are sensitive and words get to them more than men. Be careful how you use words.
   Do not let pride and ego damage your relationship. Be flexible in dealing with people knowing that not everyone can be like you or have the understanding of the things you know. Break it down to them gently and be willing to learn. Patience is key.

Thank you for reading.

Still me,

Olawalium; (Love's chemical content in human form). Take a dose today: doctor's order.